Helpless and getting by?

[christopherm]

Hi,

Well, from the title you can tell that things are going from bad to worse. I am at a loss as to what to do. I can't bring myself to leave the house, I was kicked out of therapy because I missed an appt. and didn't answer the calls placed to me by my therapist, although I thought I made myself clear that I am too frightened to talk to anyone by phone, including my family. I haven't spoken to my brother, who is my only and best friend, I am far to scared to go out, to look for work, it just seems like noone can understand even thought they say they do. I am completely self destructive, I am a failure as an adult, my life with my wife is going from bad to worse because I can't talk to her about it, it just seems so pointless when I can't explain how I feel and she can't understand my fears, or at least I can't articulate them well enough to make her understand. I only get mad when she presses me.

I feel like it's completely hopeless and not worth trying. I am failing her and the rest of my family and I am paralyzed by this ever present feeling of wothlesness. I know this isn't going to help but feel like I have to tell someone who may understand. I'm sorry to be dumping this on you all even though I don't know any of you. I feel like there's just no point.

Sorry

[paula]

Hi

Welcome to this site!

Don't ever feel like your burdening all of us on this site with your problem's, because your not. Were here for each other. That is what this site is all about, being here for each other through the good times and bad.

We all suffer with some form of Mental Health problem. Just some more bad than other's. But we all like to think that in these bad times, we can get on this site and there's always someone here for them. Well I know I am!

Could you not telephone the Samaritan's and explain about your phobia with mixing with the outside world. I know that you mentioned that you cannot talk to anyone on the telephone but, don't think that I'm being rude when I mention this, you have got to help yourself if you expect the help of other's.

Meaning: you can't just lock yourself away from other's.

There's professional help out there if you want it but, you can't expect people to run around after you because that's not how it work's in this world. If you need help, then I'm afraid that your going to have to ask for it. No Doctor, or anyone else will come to you. You have to go to them, and if that's proving to be a bit of a problem, then your going to have to find a solution to overcome this.

I'm sorry if this may sound harsh! But you've got to face reality. Please don't think that I'm having a go at you, because I'm not. But sometimes, you've got to be cruel to be kind!

Good luck!

Paula

[christopherm]

Paula,

I don't think you're being harsh and what you say makes a lot of sense. I was seeing a psychologist and yes I did miss an appointment. I did show for my next appointment, with my wife in tow because the Dr. wanted to talk to her as well. At that time I was told I was no longer welcome as a patient. I am not placing all the blame on the Dr. but she knew that I do have days when facing the world, through the phone or otherwise is damn near impossible. I am taking lithium and was also on lamictal but found that that (lamictal) dramatically increased my already huge hostility problem.

The receptionist at the therapists office threatened to have my meds taken away if I didn't continue with therapy and his attitude toward me didn't help matters. My MD is still prescribing the lithium so for now things seem ok but he doesn't yet know about the therapy. If he takes away my meds I don't know what I'll do. I DO want to get back to what passes for "normal" for me and I am doing my best to get out as much as I can. I am hoping that by seeing how others cope perhaps I can find the strength to change and repair some of the relationships that I have damaged.

I want to thank you for your advise, I will take it to heart. Things seem better today so I have that at least.

Take care,

C

[paula]

Hi Christopher

I'd like to apologise for giving you a bit of an hard time yesterday. Sorry!

What I was trying to do was, to try and make you do something about your problem. I didn't want you to throw away your chances that's all. I put my big foot in it again, didn't I! Sorry!

What I can't understand is, how they can refuse you Therapy, over missing one Appointment or not answering the phone? Honestly, the mentality of some of these doctor's, amazes me at time's! They forget that if we was all perfect like them, then they'd have no job! It's people like us that actually keep them in work. You want to mention that to him, the next time you see him, if you do see him again, that is.

I would cut all my losses with him anyhow and find some doctor who will help you, understand you, do the job that he was originally getting paid for. Some one who is on your level and not thinking that he's a cut above the rest!

Can you not put a complaint in to his Superior. You have got your Rights as well as him? How dare him to threaten you with trying to abolish your med's. He shouldn't be allowed to do that. I would fight this all the way if I was you. You've got Human Rights like everyone else.

Let me know how you get on and good luck!

Paula x :eek: