Anguish Posted August 7, 2010 Report Share Posted August 7, 2010 Now I'm 55 years old, and I still have never gotten over it.It's as if one day my world was perfect--loving parents, tons of friends, doing well in school, everything rosy. I was happy and I loved life and people. Then one day, without warning, I got out of bed and everything was different.Not my parents. Not (for a long time anyway) doing well at school. I even had my "own set" of friends left.But suddenly we were isolated. The rest of the kids--formerly my friends, or so I thought--were no longer our friends. They started laughing at us, calling us names, excluding us from parties, etc, ignoring us on the playground.We had no idea what caused this sudden change--I don't really know to this day. It hurt, but having my parents' support, being a good student, and esp. having the support of my best friend (from first grade) did help.It got worse as we got older. WE were the ones never asked out on dates. The boys joined in on the mockery and name-calling (which before had been almost exclusively female). If any boy had asked me out, I would have refused, certain it was part of a cruel trick--because trust me, that kind of thing happened. I witnessed it myself.But the final, intolerable blow was when I was about 16 and my own best friend abruptly "dropped" me. She told me (thru another friend, as she was no longer speaking to me!) that it was all my fault that she was unpopular--that if I were not "forever hanging around her", she'd have tons of friends--including, of course, the popular clique which had always despised us--at least since about 3rd or 4th grade.I do know what happened. The same clique cornered me in the gym several weeks before this and told me that my best friend was the problem--they liked me, but not her. If I would only dump her, we could all be bestest friends...sound familiar??? :mad: I told them where they could stick their offer; I wasn't so stupid that I couldn't recognize the old ploy of "divide and conquer". Clearly when the trick failed with me, they took it to my (ex) best friend, who fell for it with enormous enthusiasm. She didn't "know" the damage she had done until I dropped out of school--and later was admitted (not for the last time) to a psychiatric hospital.And you wanna know the funny part? My ex-best-friend, altho she cried tears of "guilt" afterwards, only visited me a couple of times. After that, she vanished. She's now living in Texas and to this day refuses to have ANYTHING to do with me--even tho I have tried reaching out to her.Guess it's all my fault after all. My mistake being born.I now have no friends, never married, never had children, have no job....and NO self-esteem. I am basically a recluse.For some strange reason, I just do not trust human beings any more. NO ONE gets close to me.The human race isn't worth it---screw 'em all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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