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Dissatisfaction with friendships/relationships


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I feel very dissatisfied by my friendships, relationships, and my general life. I feel like I am not living the kind of life I want to be, I am not friends with the type of people I want to be friends with, and I am not in a relationship with the type of man that I want to be with. I think a part of this is that my entire life I feel that I have been trapped in a very restrictive religion, and have not felt like I've ever really lived the way that I want to. I feel like I want to move to another city, away from people of my religion, and just start a new life. I don't know how I would do this though, since I don't have money saved up, I just started a new job, and I am in a relationship with someone (of my religion) in my city. I'm not that young anymore, if I don't get married soon it may be hard for me to have children, but yet I feel like I've never really had a chance to live life the way I want to, without boundaries and restrictions.

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What age range are you? Since you say you are getting close to being too old to have healthy childbirth. Is it a non-negotiable as far as getting married before having children?

Do you subscribe to the religion you were raised in, or are you looking for other beliefs?

Can you articulate the kind of life you want to live, the kind of people you want as friends, and the type of man you want to be with? If you can't, take some time to brainstorm, write it down, and then think of where you can go to find the types of people and situations you are seeking.

Research other cities. Determine your ideal size city, and the ideal civic culture of your ideal city. Decide what matters to you in a city, and find out which cities are known for those things. Pick the one that has the most of what you like.

I am not an expert at personal finance, but I have picked up enough to know that regardless of what you make, there is always the ability to put some back. There are many ways to grow the money you are saving as well. If you want to move, set a timetable, determine costs, and see if you can have the target dollar amount saved in the target time.

Talk to the person you are in a relationship with. See what his response is to what your plans are or what you would like your plans to be. See if his plans for the future match yours, or if a happy medium can be reached. I'm not a relationship expert either, but you have to take him into consideration if you two are serious. On the other hand, there might be people who suggest you just up and leave and go after what you want, but if I were in a relationship with someone, I would want her to give me a heads-up if she were considering major life changes.

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