Frustration

[rjridley]

I haven't read everyone's story, but something I see a lot of is people who are trying to recover because of trauma related to their home lives. They didn't get what they needed from their parents.

That is why it is so frustrating to be in a similar boat. I was not beaten or molested. My mother did not do drugs or drink. Most of you would have killed for the home life I had.

Every problem I ever had was once I walked out my front door. My mother basically raised me the same way middle-class parents raise their children. I even remember when I was younger, coming across books of hers that were about child-rearing.

The problem is we are not middle class. The other kids I lived around were not being raised the same way I was. So in another neighborhood or another school, I would not have stuck out because they would have been raised the same way I was, but because of where I lived, how I was raised made me stick out from all the other kids.

So because of where we lived, everything she did that was right was negated. All the years of being the only person like me wherever I went psychologically affected me in such a way that even when I got away from there, I still couldn't do what I needed to do because of the effects on my mental health from what I had dealt with prior.

Anxiety and fear still affect me now, as does not knowing what to say or do when I am in a situation where something good could result, and how to make consistent good things happen.