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I am a new member. I would like to ask your advise related with manage of anger.

My boyfriend two days ago get very upset because my cat made some scrashes to his book.

He put glue on his hair and hit the cat very hardly. the cat was in very bad shape.

I went home and he start calling me names and saying that the cat should leave.

I call the police and put him out.

I would like your advise if I did the right thing and how can I deal with this. I would like to help him.

Thank you

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Renata,

Welcome to our site. I hope you find lots of support and information here.

In my opinion you did the right thing to put your boyfriend out. His abuse of the cat is inexcusable. It does not matter how angry he was at the cat regardless of what the cat may have done.

In fact, you should be quite concerned about your boyfriend's behavior because he is just one short step away from abusing you. If he can do that to the cat then he can do the same to you.

As for getting help for him, that will be up to him. My goal is to warn you away from him because you could be entering into a relationship that could turn out badly for you. In a way you are lucky this happened now, in time to find out the kind of person he really is.

What do others think??


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If anyone ever touched my animals, they would be gone forever from my life. :mad: I have thought that if this ever happened (thank God it has not), I might be capable of harming someone seriously or even killing them. I doubt this would be judged by the courts as a case of "justifiable homicide," but it sure seems that way to me.

I saw Dr Schwartz's response referring to harming a cat before I saw the original post and I was actually afraid to read the original post because animal abuse upsets me so extremely.

I don't call myself "Catmom" for nothing, you know! :rolleyes:

P.S. I am sorry, renata, but how you can love someone who would abuse a cat is beyond my comprehension. And- OF COURSE you did the right thing in calling the police & getting your bf taken away. If animal abuse isn't enough to make you keep him out of your life, keep in mind that a person who harms animals can very easily switch over to harming humans. CM

Edited by Catmom
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Catmom is ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!!! To abuse and torture an animal is a very sick act. That animal is far too small to defend itself. If you go back to him and have children, what will he do if a baby upsets him? Kill it? Torture it ? Do you really want a man like that in your life???

I would not even CONSIDER helping him. He's out now and that is where he belongs---out of your life. Now that you have seen what he can do PAY ATTENTION !!! Hitting and then putting glue in its hair is a DELIBERATE act of cruelty--not just a reaction. I am so glad you called the police.

It may be painful at first, but as time goes by, you will find someone who is not cruel. Cruelty is not something you want in your life.


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I am glad that you support my decision.

This is hard but I know that I will get over it.

Although sometimes I just fell like talk to him and say how much I liked him but I know I can not and I also know that my cat saved my life.

I am sure that in future if I had kids this would really be a big problem. I think that if my kid cries he would probably do the same.

I just hope I will get over all of this and be happy, because at the time I fell very sad and lonely.

Thank you

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Dear Renata,

I know you may be sad and lonely for a time, but too many women stay in a situation that is very bad for them because they are afraid to be sad or lonely. I admire your courage. You have chosen to be sad for a short time instead of sad for a lifetime. Unfortunately, some people have problems that are severe and sometimes dangerous. I am just glad he did not kill your kitty or hit you. I am also very glad you and your kitty are safe because you had the courage to make him go. I wish more women were like you. By the way, how is your kitty now? I do hope it is better. Thank you for protecting it !!!


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Thank you for your attention.

My cat is pretty nice now. She is very happy playing all the time with me. I know that she saved my life and my future.

Please give me your advise how can I not return back.

He still send me messages and I call, even knowing I shall not.

I also told him to seek for help and he said he will. But now he does not have time.

Furthermore, he told me that all of his friends are of the opinion that the person who needs help is me because of what I did.

Thank you

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I too am an animal lover .. but that is beside the point.....

I cannot tell you how to stay away from him... I stayed in a real abusive relationship for 1 1/2 yrs... I left because I knew if I stayed I would kill him and he was not worth going to jail over.....

I can tell you it will NOT get better.. exspecially if he says YOU have the problem... You may not be perfect ,but U did not hurt an innocent animal...

I agree with 1st cat, then maybe you or future child...

RUN !!! RUN!!! RUN!!!!


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