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Trying to keep things civil


Sweetsara
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I have been trying my best not start any fights with my soon to be ex. I have looked and looked and the earliest I can out of our house is Sept 14th. So how do I keep from bashing his little pinhead in until then? Tonight while I was getting ready for work he told me he wished I was dead. That the best thing that could have ever happened to him is if I was in the car when my family died. That I have no feelings, no emotion and am as good as dead so y don't I just get it over with. All I said was is that the best you've got. One of us has a job to go to and as much fun as this is I have to go. So as I was leaving he's screaming at the top of his lungs how I'm a robot because a person would have gotten mad or cried or something. Should I tell him that I didn't react because if I had he'd be in a hospital and I'd be in jail. For all the times for him to do this my son's birthday is Friday and with everything else going on I am on an emotional tightrope if I fall it's going to be epic. I have checked with my lawyer and the only way to have him removed from the house is get his name taken off yeah that made me laugh or get him to hit me and have him arrested. I have no money to stay in a hotel until the 14th and no1 I can stay with. So how do I keep from doing bodily harm to this twit if these are the buttons he's going to hit?:mad:

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Sweetsara,

I do not have an answer for you except to keep reminding yourself of the consequences if you do hit him. In fact, he may be trying to provoke you so that he can have you sent to jail. Its not worth it.

Can you live elsewhere until he is out?

Allan:(

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I have no where to go until the 14th:( I've even called a few resource lines and unless he's done something physical they can't help me. I even came to work earlier tonight just to get away. I just want these to be peaceful. So we couldn't make it work it happens y can't we just ignore each other until the 14th? What is the point in trying to hurt me? Does he think if he's a total ass then he wins? It's a freaking divorce the only way to "win" is have some dignity and poise and act like an adult. Thank u for replying though

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No we don't have kids. That's y we r getting divorced. I refuse to be around children or 2 have anymore and now he wants kids. 5 years ago my 1st husband our 2 children and my MIL were killed in a car accident. He also lost his children and his first wife is in prison so when he asked me to marry him I told him only if he never wanted more kids he said he didn't. As far as I'm concerned he lied and married me under false pretenses so if I can be civil to a liar then he should be able to be civil to me. But that is a good thought he might have been trying to provoke me so he can get me out of the house sooner. Plus if I attack him it probably will help him n the divorce. My attorney has told me that he can't legally tell me to get him to break the law etc but that he can tell me what other clients have done that worked very well for them. If that's the type of advice he's getting 2 then blah! No wonder people hate divorce lawyers. :confused:

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Sara,

I had a friend who's boyfriend was insecure, selfish, demanding and abusive like that. He provoked her into hitting him, and boy did he ever deserve it (she felt like he was about to attack her), but then the coward went and called the police on her and they actually took her to jail. Let him act out, he's only making it worse for himself in the divorce. If he gets violent with you then go to a woman's shelter, if you'd like I can help you look one up in your area. They will always take in a battered or emotionally abused woman in need, plus that will look really bad on him. I'm of course not saying that you should provoke him into hitting you, even though no man should ever be 'provokable' into such a thing, but if he does I sincerely recommend doing exactly that, my sister stayed in one for a while and they were really, really good to her.

Bottom line, stick with it, and forget that punk. If he can't take your bad emotions, or your emotional abstinence, he obviously doesn't deserve the good ones you have to offer.

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Neji thank u so much for the cyber hug{{ }} right back 2 u:D

I am so relieved I moved over the weekend. I had asked the store manager for the weekend off because Friday was my son's birthday and I'm usually a mess. Well we got to talking and I explained everything that was going on and everything that had happened and just everything she has a brother that owns a storage/moving company and she called him and over the weekend they moved me out of the house I'm staying with her until the 14th and her brother is keeping my stuff in storage for free and then helping me move for free on the 14th. I'm sitting here crying again because I'm so relieved it just took so much stress off me and I can't describe how lucky I feel to work for someone who cares that much about their employees and is just that nice. :P

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