ChasingDreams Posted September 3, 2010 Report Share Posted September 3, 2010 Hi,I'm wondering if anyone has any advice/experience with rebuilding communication in a relationship when it has really deteriorated. My boyfriend and I had been having trouble communicating for a while. We don't talk much, especially about important things, and whenever we do we just get into a bad fight... It seems that we both have different styles of talking and listening. He wants to dominate the conversation and tell me when I can speak. To me, it feels like a 1-sided conversation... I do know that I can't change how he behaves, so I would like to work on my own behavior and hope that bringing out the best in me will bring out the best in him:P I know could use some work on my listening style... I think partly because he has accused and blamed me for so many things I get really defensive and have a hard time sitting through listening to his thoughts without trying to defend myself. But then he feels like I am not valuing his words.. SO I guess I need to figure out how to listen to the sometimes very negative things without getting emotional and defensive or taking it personally. I've gotten to the point where every time he starts to complain about something, I start apologizing, even if it has nothing to do with me>< I guess I'm just used to being blamed for everything. But that's not helpful to assume.Somehow I would like to figure out how to break my own bad habits and see if I can improve the communication a bit so he feels safe to speak his mind and I don't freak out and then we can work on solving problems instead of creating more... lolANyway, if anyone has any advice here, I would really appreciate it:)Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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