Ob1one Posted September 17, 2008 Report Share Posted September 17, 2008 I attend Notre Dame High school and I am picked on a lot there.You see Notre Dame has a zero tolerance for violence in any way, so they need to attack you mentally so they can mess with you.What they do to me is call me gay, fag, have no friends, girl will never love you, etc.I can break these guys down to a pile of ashes from words but then again I know how it feels to be heart mentally not physically so I try my best to just take it and go.I've been getting more and more violent, isolated, dark, depressed, aggressive to any human being, etc.Before this year even started I was already feeling bad and now it's a lot worse. Before the year started I was praying that I would kill anyone and now I more afraid then ever that I will kill someone.It's a scary concept for me because I'm big and I know what I'm doing in a fight. I practice all day on martial arts for one, physical help and two, Mental stability.Because of my size and experience I can take these guys down easily but it scares me to think I might be pushed to far.I had therapy over an anxiety disorder and now I have some therapy for anger here and there though I'm very solitary I don't like being around people or talking to them, webs still talking I know. I don't like to go get help so I stay and try to figure it out myself to try and avoid human contact at all cost.therapy is hard for me but it got me through anxiety now anger is a lot harder for me to control.A weird thing anger has done to me is make me more into an animal. Respectable yet aggressive, strong yet avoids humans, some solitary stuff like that it sounds like a cool concept but everyone know how bad that is for your head.Being around people has been putting me into a corner and I feel the urge to attack everyone and I don't know how to talk it out or who to talk to or even what to do when the situation is happening. Simply what can I do to stop these violent urges I have had for the past 3 weeks(I start school earlier then other people).P.S. please don't change this into a different subject like I've seen happen on one of my posts, I'm getting pretty desperate for advice right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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