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Paranoia - PLEASE HELP


ChasingDreams
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Hi,

I wasn't sure which forum this would fit in, so I posted it here. I am getting VERY worried about my boyfriend:( I am seriously thinking he has some sort of mental illness going on. There have always been little flags warning me that something is not quite right with him, but lately he seems to be going off the deep end... He is starting to get really paranoid... he thinks his former employer has destroyed his reputation so much that the whole city (big city, mind you) is judging him and he is afraid to go out, so he just holes up at home and talks about how lonely he is. He also thinks our neighbors are listening to our conversations. The lady that lives next door to us gave a teddy bear to our daughter and the other night he was whispering that he thinks it is bugged or something... And he's convinced that the neighbor across the way knows about his speeding ticket, because he hadn't waved and said hi in a few days.. and he keeps thinking someone is trying to read our mail every time the corner of an envelope is a bit torn... and when there was a funny noise in the walls one day from a funky water pipe, he insisted that the neighbors and apartment manager were doing it on purpose to try to drive us out, because we had just signed a lease and they would get more money if we moved then... It's like he thinks the whole world is out to get him:( I tried to talk to him about going to a counselor with me, but he insisted that there is nothing wrong with him and that I need to go get help (which I'm going to:P) so that I can learn how to listen to his negative, paranoid thoughts without trying to insert reality in there... I want to try to do that a bit, so he feels safe and will continue to talk to me... but I really don't want to feed his delusions... When I look around online about paranoia, its scary... Things like bipolar and schizophrenia come up... Does anyone know of a case where someone could just get paranoid from being really depressed? And then move on from it? It really scares me to think that something is really wrong with him and that he won't get better:( I'm starting to be afraid of leaving my daughter alone with him (and he watches her 3 days a week while I'm at work) I just don't know what to do:(

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Hi,

I am not an expert or anything.I actually joined this forum to ask the same question about my mother.

She got divorced from my father 7 years ago and she still does not know why. I think she can not accept the fact that he stopped loving her and that's when she started making up excuses...It first started as :''oh, his parents wanted to get rid of me''....then she blamed me and my siblings that we were not helping her, but ''were joined with him against her''...then she would come to her senses and say she didn't mean it etc...

over time, she started blaming her brother, sister, everyone who did not stop the breka up of the marriage... she does not trust anyone anymore because my father hid from her the fact that he did not pay her benefits in his company..

since then, she always thinks ppl are ''out to get her'' as you say...or that they think she is a thief or a whore because she is divorced...or whatever they say- she thinks that they have some hidden intention of wanting to provoke her etc...

so, I don't know how to help you, but i do know how you feel...

I still don't know what to do about my mother and I keep putting it under the rug because I don't live with her. When I did, to be honest, I got scared of sleeping in the same bedroom with her because I dreamed she was strangling me...The scary bit was that when I woke up- she was awake and looking at me and I really believed it had happened....for a few seconds I thought she really did strangle me. When she said I had had a bad dream, I sort of calmed down. But to this day, the thought of it gives me an uncomfortable feeling...

I think he should try to speak to someone, I've been told that medications can help, too, but I am not an expert

Good luck

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I think I scared the crap out of myself reading online about paranoia.... and then all the therapist did was feed my fears by trying to diagnose him with schizophrenia without even meeting him... (See me reply to this thread: http://community.mentalhelp.net/showthread.php?t=5548) I really don't think there's anything wrong with him other than depression, incredible amounts of stress, and the fact that he's a product of a culture that feeds suspicion and paranoia to its people like candy (not to mention the fact that the walls are so thin, and neighbors so close, and incredibly nosy... that PEOPLE ARE listening to your conversations there>< lol)... I really need to start trusting my own judgement and knowledge of him rather than the ideas of people that don't know him at all... I'm not saying I won't keep an eye on him, but I can't beleive I freaked myself out so much over what now seems like nothing. If he knew I was thinking this stuff about him, he would be horrified.... I think I need to STOP WITHDRAWING from him and work on making him feel safe again (imagine how scary it must be to live in a foreign country, surrounded by "suspicious foreigners" and to have the only person you know and trust start to withdraw from you and mistrust you... not helpful at all...) At least after this scare depression doesn't sound so bad... we can deal with that... we have before...

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Dear ChasingDreams,

Paranoia is an ugly beast, and it's very understandable that you're frightened by encountering symptoms in someone so close to you. Nobody can give you a manual on how to handle such situation. That's why it's good that there's a threrapist involved.

Please, don't mistrust the therapist too soon. I think there's a misunderstanding going on. You see, it's a kind of convention among mental health professionals to classify paranoia as a subcategory of schizophrenia. Your therapist isn't trying to blow anything out of proportion, it's simply the word that is used to group paranoia together with some other disorders and/or symptoms. It's semantics, a word game, it doesn't really add any new information. It was paranoia before, and for all intents and purposes, it still is.

Obviously the therapist didn't make this very clear to you, and did not consider the fact the word "schizophrenia" looks way scarier than the more mundane word "paranoia". And this is not the first mistake the therapist is going to make. He is human, he will make more. That I can guarantee you. But please, don't lose faith in him or her too soon. Professional help is still your best bet of getting your boyfriend back on track.

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