chatterbox512 Posted October 20, 2010 Report Share Posted October 20, 2010 Okay so I went to a conference this week on Childhood Sexual Abuse. I knew right off that this was going to be a difficult conference to be at because of the fact that I am having difficulty dealing even 15 years after the fact. I have been having difficulties for weeks dealing with my emotions spiraling out of control. I had been doing pretty well with the for the most part. Today was a very very low day though. It was like I was on a roller coaster ride of emotions all day long. I ended up blowing off the afternoon sessions at this conference because I couldn't take it anymore. I started having Panic attacks where my heart races and pounds, I sweat, and get very anxious.. I don't know what to do when that happens. I had to go outside hoping the fresh air would help. I went and sat in my car, and had to do everything in my power to not turn the car on and drive right over the edge into the parking lot below. Instead I found myself grinding a pen tip into my arm just to feel something other than the vice that was gripping my entire inside. It seems like this is getting worse and I really don't know what to do. I feel like I have so many responsiblities out side of therapy that it is hard for me to fully concentrate on what we do in it. I have always used that as an excuse, and because of that we have not really fully dealt with any of the issues I have had over the years. Now I am struggling with all of it at once while still being a mom, wife, homemaker and me. I feel like everything is spiraling so fast out of control and I am lost as to how to gain it back again. I have always been one to need to be in control, so when it gets this bad and I have to ask for help it is really bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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