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Overwhelming Loneliness and Binge Eating


MRobertson71

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Hello,

Four years ago, I was diagnosed with MS. At that time, I weighed 280lbs and thought life couldn't get much worse. The two years that followed were had hardest but best times as I lost 140lbs through healthy eating and exercise and I was lucky enough to join a drugs trial for MS - all seemed good. The year that followed, I probably felt the most positive and optimistic of any time in my life so far (I was 36 then). This year, I don't know what has happened - my MS is kept under control but I have overwhelming feelings of loneliness which has resulted in me putting on 30lbs so far. I hate the way I feel and I have been coping by overdosing myself daily with dihydracodeine pills (not massive overdoses, normally twice the daily dose). At first, the feeling from the pills seemed to help but now, I just feel despair. I can't face working, I can't face going out and I hate the shape I am becoming. I don't understand what happened, I used to love walking miles every day: I used to love going to the gym. I used to love eating healthily. Am I suffering from a mental health problem? Has anyone else felt so painfully lonely? How can I get over this? Thanks for any help you can offer.

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Hi MRobinson71 and welcome!

To me it sounds like your slipping into a Depressive mode. I would suggest you talk to your Doctor over these issues who will try and help you by offering you the right medication to try and lift your spirits. If medication is needed that is.

I don't mean to be personal but have you had any unfortunate happenings of late. Any bad fortune, bad news etc. Sometimes this can trigger Depression.

You could join some social groups, attend educational courses etc. To try and get you socialising. Ask friends round to watch a film maybe have a few non alcoholic drinks. You don't need alcohol to have a good time. A good time is how you make it. Just a thought.

I would seriously think about seeing your doc though before you get deeper in this depressive state.

Take care!

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MRobertson71,

I would like to strongly echo what Paula has said about seeing your doctor. This is potentially a very dangerous situation, even with "only" double your prescribed dose. If you were to eat or drink the wrong thing while you were taking such a dose (or if you did not have anything in your stomach), the consequences could be dire, up to and including coma or death. :(

Please see your doctor ASAP and just be open about your feelings and the dosages you have been taking. Most doctors are relieved and quite understanding when their patients tell them the truth about the struggles they have been having and how they have been self-medicating. Remember, the doc is there to help you, not to be a cop or or a bad guy. You may need specific medicines or treatment to help you get rid of the dependence to this drug (which forms when people begin to use more than the prescribed dose on a regular basis). Your doctor will be able to advise you best and should have some suggestions or treatment options for your weight management and depression as well.

Please don't wait to get help. Prescription medicine abuse does not go away on its own, and the effects can begin to snowball very quickly.

Also, remember this does not mean you are a bad person. It just means you are in an incredible amount of pain right now and you tried to use the resources available to you to cope. It seems like it might be time to bring in a professional now, so you have someone to help you shoulder the load of this emotional burden.

Best,

Sean

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Dear Paula and Sean,

Thanks for your advice. I do appreciate everything you say. I am going to see my GP on Thursday. I hate what I am becoming and I want to return to how I felt a few years ago. Luckily, I don't drink so that was never a problem. I have started to scare myself with the pills lately as I've been having bad headaches and sickness. I have only had the recommended dose today so far and I am going to try my best until I see my GP. My biggest worry is that they stop my dihydracodeine prescription, these drugs are the only things that help with the MS. Anyhow, I am trying to be positive and in time, I hope to get my life back.

Thank you both very much for your advice, Michelle :(

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Michelle, it could be just as dangerous for you to quit the meds 'cold turkey' as taking too many of them (especially if your body has become somewhat tolerant of them--which it sounds like is the case). Your doctor should know this and should be able to offer you a plan for a medical detox or a lowered dosage plan (where you don't quit the meds all at once). If the doctor says you must stop taking all the meds at once, you should probably seek a second opinion since this could really damage your body. (Of course only a doctor can tell you for sure, but a second opinion is important any time you receive drastic instructions, because even doctors make mistakes!)

So the good news is, you probably will not be instructed to "just stop taking them" all together--hopefully that can ease your mind a little bit!

:(

It's great to meet you!

Sean

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi MrRobertson,

I agree witht he advice you have been given thus far and I want to make some additional suggestions and recommendations:

I know of several cases of people with MS who then became depressed. This is not an unusual thing to happen. The depression is usually treated with two things: 1. Anti depressant medications and 2. Participation in group activities with others who have MS. This is usually sponsored by the treating hospital.

However, I know of two cases where people benefitted from one more thing:

They got fully trained and certified Service Dogs. Check with this web site:

http://ecad1.org

or you can go to: http://adionline.org

Ecad is for those in the north east of the U.S and ADI is for the rest of the U.S. If you log onto to ADI, choose the state in which you live.

If you are in another country, do an internet search for service dogs.

Allan

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MRobertson71,

let me echo the advice that folks here have given. Taking extra codine is a significant problem that needs to be addressed or may make your life considerably worse. I would recommend telling your doctor about the expanded dosages you are taking and see if there isn't something she or he can do to adjust how you get the medication (perhaps in smaller amounts each time you refill) so as to help you stick to the planned medication regime. As you likely know, codine drugs are opioids in the same family as heroin and methadone, show tolerance and withdrawal effects and can become addicting if abused.

A number of years ago my life was touched by MS when someone I loved very much developed that condition. It is a frightening condition which can become depressing in several ways. the potential for disability can lead to a sense of helplessness and hopelessness for one thing, and there can be brain effects that can encourage depression as well. So, as Dr. Schwartz points out, seeing a doctor about your depression feelings makes a lot of sense, as does hooking up with MS support groups. they aren't hard to find if you google for "Multiple Sclerosis Support".

One web page I hope you will explore is the Accelerated Cure Project's web page. This is not so much a support group as a research advocacy group that is trying to cure MS by figuring out what research needs to be done to make that happen, and to raise funds and facilitate the conduct of that research. They do very good work and I try to support them each year. I'm not sure if this information will benefit you directly, but if someone is interested in MS, Accelerated Cure is a group to know about. http://www.acceleratedcure.org/

Mark

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Hello Sean, Mark and Dr Schwartz,

Thanks for your advice. I have looked at the various websites you have all mentioned and I can take some comfort from them. I have thought about attending MS support groups but there is one thing putting me off - I hope this doesn't sound harsh but I have found that the people who attend support group meetings or post stories on MS websites are people who have secondary MS and have pretty bad symptoms - this scares me. MS to me is at best, a minor inconvenience that only affects me when I have to inject myself every day or take the pain killers. I think of myself as quite lucky in that I can still walk and am still mobile. I think seeing the worst case scenario or hearing about it would be too much to take right now - maybe I'm in denial but at the minute, it works for me. I know I need to sort out the over medication, to be completely honest, I have probably been taking too many for over 2 years now. Because of my diagnosis, my GP gives me 500 pills each time and I often wondered why he never worked out that I am taking three months supply every two months. I know it's not for him to work it out, it's for me to stop doing it. It's not an excuse but I don't have a rapport with my GP, I don't feel that I can really open up and talk about all the reasons why I might be relying on drugs. I do need to stop though because I don't like who I am becoming. Only a year ago, I walked the West Highland Way in Scotland to raise money for the MS society - I want that life back. Maybe I need to find myself a good counsellor ?!?!?! Anyhow, thank you all for your advice. I know it's time to change.

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  • 2 months later...
Guest ASchwartz

H MRobertson71,

I understand how you feel about meeting those MS sufferers who are in much worse shape than you. Therefore, I would urge you to enter psychotherapy with someone who has lots of experience working with MS.

I have a friend in Colorado who has MS and she has been in psychotherapy and found that very helpful and is also taking anti depressant medications and she tells me that is helping her a lot.

The combination of psychotherapy and anti depressant medication could work quite well for you as well.

Allan

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