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Husband Depressed


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Hi, I'm new to this forum, and I am hoping to find some help for my husband. He has been extremly angry and sad lately. He opened up to me last night and broke my heart. He explained that he is just not happy, sad all the time. He dosen't want to do anything that he used to and then he gets upset at himself for not wanting to do anything, he beats himself up for it. He's been working 6-7 days a week for the past 8 months. It's taking its toll. He yelled at some of his workers yesterday, and afterwards felt really bad about it, even if it was justified. Said he dosen't know why he has to yell, other people seem to be able to handle it better, and he wants to be like them, but can't understand why he isn't. I tried to get him to see a therapist, but in his words " i will say yes now, but when the time comes, I won't go". I want to help him, but not sure how. Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated. Just want him to feel better again!

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Hi Marley

It is good that you are trying to help your husband sometimes people who are depressed can't really see that they are and need a loved one to point it out for them and help to get them into some type of a treatment. If your husband is not motivated to go out and get the help is there anyway he can start to read something about it mabe online, or a book. Mabe he has not really connected that how he feels is a illness and if he reads more and more he will understand the illness better and understand that treatment will help him? also he will really need your help and understanding because depression feels really crappy and can make everything in life feel off and so it is confusing identifying what really is crappy and what is being clouded by the depression. I think it is good for you to get support too because being in a relationship with someone haveing a hard time with MI can be hard and drain your emotional strength and make your view clouded too. Anyways I hope your husband will be able to get some help, it is good that he has you to help him.;)take care

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Thank you everyone for all your kind words and suggestions. I'm glad to have found this place. As of now, I'm trying to be a sounding board for him so he can get some of his frustrations and thoughts out. He seems to be responding(for now). Haven't quite convinced him yet to see a doc, but I think I am making some headway. I was considering getting him St. Johns Wart, he takes a multi-vitamin, would the St.Johns have any adverse reactions with a vitamin? Not sure. And, thanks Gordian for posting that warning about the online pills, I would never even consider it. You are just on your knees begging for trouble to order pills from some random site!! Thank you all again, and if you have any info. about the vitamins and St. Johns Wart, please let me know. I'll keep you updated on how things are going.:rolleyes:

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Marie522,

It is my personal opinion (I am not a medical doctor) that it is much safer to see a medical doctor before taking any medications, including those sold over the counter and at health food stores, not to mention over the Internet. The results on St. John's Wart have been very contradictory and safe and effective dosages are unkown, unless I am mistaken and I could be. I just feel safer, even with myself and my family, following the MD's recommendations. In this case, the MD should be a psychiatrist or, even better, your husband should see a clinical psychologist for evaluation. The right psychotherapy might be best for him.


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Recently depression has been diagnosed and a regiment of medication has been prescribed. My GP has also scheduled me an appointment with a Psychiatrist, at my request, since it seems my job maybe in jeopardy without a specialist's opinion of my condition. I was so in denial.

Upon taking Flouxitine (Prozac) I quickly realized that I most probably have been depressed for years. It seems I just got used to coping with my condition, regardless of the circumstances, until they became overwhelming. It is now clearly evident to me that increasing stresors in my life have greatly affected my ability to cope.

My wife has been telling me for years that something was wrong, even scheduling appointments with a therapist for the two of us, who I saw with her as a dutiful and caring husband, rationalizing that it was she who was having the problem. It always seemed to me to be issues that she was having difficulty with, so I continued to keep appontments with her until she was feeling better, satisfied enough so that we could go on with our lives. That is, until circumstances once again began to surface that brought us to therapy yet again. And so was the pattern until this year, in late June, when I "hit the wall." Only then did I realize that it was really me who has the problem. I have since been very apologetic.

Unable to function - throwing up when I got up in the morning and shaking and sweating upon entering my place of work was followed by my sitting at my desk, unable to make even simple decisions or pursue tasks that were once relatively easy to complete - only then did I realize that something was seriously wrong.

I left work at that point to seek help, feeling I had to make it through the last two weeks of work, knowing that I would have a six week break to recooperate, which was always the way in the past - push through to make it to the holidays.

The doctor at the walk-in clinic listened to my story, which I qualifed with my desire to make it through the next two weeks until the holidays. He prescribed Flouxitine (Prozac) and another medication that I took only once and the name of which eludes me since it made me feel like a zombie. It was the Prozac that helped me to feel better than I had in years. Even though it took about a week to really start becoming effective. It made me feel like I was communicating from behind a plate of glass, a filter through which to interact that seemed to sufficiently protect me from the emotional repercussions of social interaction. I managed until I could see my family doctor.

The difficulty now seems to be getting the right regiment of medication to assist my recovery, since after a while the effect of the medication seems to change. diminish, becoming a less effective filter.

I have since been prescribed Mertazipine (Remeron) to help me sleep. As great as Prozac has been to elevate my mood, it does nothing to help me sleep, which has for years been a problem for me and caused great difficultly between my wife and I, since she sleeps soundly. Unfortunately, I now sleep through her efforts to wake me when I am snoring and thrashing about, which seems not to have been an issue before taking this medication. Perhaps a side effect and unfortunately a most undesireable one for her.

I recently missed taking Remeron for three consecutive days, forgetting to fill my presciption before leaving town for a few days. During the time away, until I could get back on the medication, I experienced rising anxiety which interfered with my ability to interact socially, having to withdraw from and avoid more tenuous circumstances.

Since continuing my regiment of medications, Prozac upon rising and Remeron before going to bed, I have been sleeping a great deal more and feeling little to no motivation to do much of anything, which is not how I was feeling after the first month of starting my holidays on these medications. Perhaps with the stressors of work off of me and the medication starting to take effect was enough of a change to help me to feel that much better, even to the point of feeling a little mania.

My wife has since called my doctor, informing me of this decision just recently. He has since arranged for me to return to his office to do a follow up about my medication, yet again.

I am hopeful that a proper regiment of medication accompanied with counselling will help me to return to work, since I have now been away from my job for almost four months. I am determined to return to an administrative position, even though a less stressful alternative may be an option.

I do believe that with proper medication and counselling there is hope - there has to be.


T. :D

Edited by eyeneed2bfree
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