Where do i go from here.

[suzi2257]

Hey there i am 24 and have been suffering from mental health issues from the age of 7, My childhood wasn't great it was full of grown ups who hurt me not on a regulat basic but as i child i didn't understand why. My mother and dad have also hurt me and i have now forgiven them, sometimes it's like a part of me is still hurting, i am however much better than i was i no longer shelf harming. I found myself doubting people like at the moment my bf doesn't seem interested in sex, he still tells me he loves me but it's like sometimes i only see the worst in people. Right now it's hard because i feel like i want to cry all the time but i can't because i work closely with the general public. Where do i go from here? How do i get trust back in people.

[JustTrying]

No great advice.. hopefully someone will come along but know I care... (((( HUGS))) Gabby

[Mark]

Trust in other people not to hurt you needs to come from somewhere, and where it comes from for most people is past experience with people who were close to you who didn't hurt you. Those past relationships which involved closeness without abuse serve as a template for trust in newer relationships and guide what people get worried about. Someone who has never been cheated on, for instance, is far less likely to suspect their partner of cheating on them than someone who has been cheated on in the past.

Keeping this in mind, recognize that you have already really accomplished a great feat! You are able to trust people to some extent, at least enough to have relationships and a boyfriend. It isn't perfect, and as makes sense given your past experience of abuse, you leap to concerns that you may be abused or abandoned or something like that with regard to these relationships at times when that may not be appropriate, but it is growth nevertheless. Some people who have been abused simply don't trust at all and cannot really form stable relationships with others, much to their detriment.

As far as learning to trust more, you have to do that carefully and slowly. One way to do that, which involves an understanding relationship partner, is to share some of your concerns out loud (not the deepest ones, but something mild). by sharing the concern and having it acknowledged by your partner, and then seeing that your partner responds to the concern reasonably well or doesn't do what you fear helps you to learn that he can be trusted more or less with regard to that concern. And you build up trust in this fashion brick by brick until you have a structure you feel comfortable leaning on, at least for a while. This is how everyone does it, but it is harder for people who have been abused.

Mark

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Suzie12257,

Welcome to our community.

It seems that your mental health problems go back to your early childhood. Have you had therapy in the past and are you in therapy now. Also, are you taking any medications for your emotional problems?

Can you tell us the types of mental health problems you have and why you feel so much like crying these days?

I hope you can answer these questions as it will clarify the issues for us and we can share with you and even give you advice.

Allan:)