I have an idea

[sadgreeneyes]

I cant get over the fact my husband doesnt want me to come visit him in his country as we are waiting for his visa/for him to come stay with me. Its at no cost for him and I even said I could stay at a hotel ( since the parents cant host me again, dont have space, yeah find it weird as I am the wife to their son:confused:

Anyway, I have an idea, I will say that I am going to Amman this summer as I have money, I know he will be thrown off balance. I believe he will say no that I shouldnt go or are not going, but I am a grown up woman and have the right to take holiday where I want as long as he doesnt accept my offer to visit him and at no cost too.

If my husband loves me I find it weird he doesnt say yes to see me. He means that one year will go fast and that I should save my money plus we cant do anything down there anyway, he means being intimate. So why not a hotel. Its perfect. Anyway,he didnt seem to want that, only talked me away from it and said time will go fast. I dont think this is the reason why he doesnt want me to come as he has acted sexually abusive against me. So what I think is that he wants control or he may not care, I dont know, but if he still say no to see me even I go on holiday to his country by myself, then its definitely something wrong.

I am willing to let this plan come true.

Ok, what do you guys say to me if my husband still says no in any way?

Would you too find it weird if he doesnt change his mind? as I am his wife and in his country and he still wont see me..heh??:eek:

[sadgreeneyes]

Beside this it is making me very sad he doesnt wish to see me, I have said it makes me sad, have txt him "you dont even want me to stay at hotel and see you". As I got him to promise me affection, I didnt mention "the stay at hotel" again ( had txt him the day before saying he needed to promise me affection and that him not wanting to see me was very very bad and there needed to be change or I´ll lose all hope for happiness).

I kept quitet..satisfied he had promised me affection. Was afraid he would be rejecting me again too...not seeing me. But now I feel I have the right to see him and it is not a nurturing thing to say no to see me, I´m his wife, I dont understand it, I would never say no to see my husband. I would miss him so much I would die to see him. I know that to know something is good or bad one have to ask oneself sometimes...is this something you would do or say to your spouse/partner, if the answer is a clear no then you know its bad.

If he still says no I think I will know he doesnt love me and I will be very hurt, I think that will leave me heart broken. I think that if he says no it will be the end.

[sadgreeneyes]

And it did work:D I will go down in summer:)

[chatterbox512]

Sad,

Are you going to see your husband this summer? Or to Amman?

I would be thinking something alot worse than that he just doesn't love me. It seems awefully suspicious that he doesn't want you to visit him even if he is with his parents. Is it possible that he is hiding a secret from you? Is it possible that he is fond of other men, and doesn't want to admit it in fear that he will be badly judged? I don't want to put any ideas into your head, but that is what I would be thinking if I were in this situation.

I wish you the best!! You are a strong person to keep after a man who seems to not have any affection for you, and to keep giving him chances. Having faith in a person's deep inner self is an amazing talent that many do not possess. Go with your gut, and it will lead you in the right direction

[sadgreeneyes]

Hi chatterbox,

well he has said now that he wants me to visit and I said I would give his parents a gift as they did let me stay there last year. He was thankful for that. I dont know is he hiding something, but I am quite sure he isnt gay. I will leave to his city and if he doesnt show me affection as he has now promised me I will leave back home and cancel the visa or divorce him if I am that strong. He said he made a mistake in Jordan, so if he cant change or show affection this time there is something wrong and he will not change ever. I will now have a chance to see. Thank you, I do think too I am a very strong woman to wait for someone who show about no love or affection, it is very hard and I have been close to giving up several times. I think the reason why I am this strong is because I had no plan being with a man again anyway, as I have been wounded too deep, so me being without a man is both good and bad for me,but I want love and maybe he is true. If he´s not I know I will never love again. I also think if he was a virgin it was not easy for him. But now he has a chance to make it up to me, if he cant show true affection or love, something I will see and feel easily then he might be gay or there is something else wrong. I cannot continue if he cant show me this when I come.