Dependent

[sadgreeneyes]

I took a test online and I scored high on avoidant and dependent personality disorder, it didnt surprise me as I know I have fear of abandonment.

Today I felt so unloved and texted by purpose to my husband:

"I never get any txt anymore from my husband. I think it must be he just doesnt care."

I wrote it exactly like this as he said one night a couple months ago "I will send you message tonight and dont tell me you dont get it". So I cant say directly to him again I dont get any messages from him becaause he has made me scared to say it. I am feeling very sad. And had suicide thoughts again. but just thoughts, wouldnt make it real one more time.

So I thought maybe he would have some empathy knowing I was feeling sad, but he didnt respond anything to me.

I think he hates me because I sometimes have acted like that wounded adult child. I know he doesnt understand where I am coming from. I am sure he doesnt want to understand either.

Couldnt he at least send me a goodnight message? Before he sent message every morning and night, now he never does anymore.

He must probably hate me.

[sadgreeneyes]

So I deleted his number everywhere in my phone. What the point having it when he doesnt even txt me ever.

If I didnt have to go to the cam tomorrow he sure would txt me. Why would I answer him.

He could just lose me.