Nothing New

[CantGiveItAway]

Ive been reading through some of the threads here and Im sorry if I offended anyone by the posts that Ive made here.

But you do need to get out of the mindset of feeling like some inferior human because that is just not the case. Even if the whole world(which they dont) believed that and tried to disguard you. I would say fuck the world and life aint worth livin if it was all about that. You do not and should not stand for any of that. You still may die alone but you dont have to die with that feeling. If you dont, I think you should learn how to defend yourself. You dont have to take any class if youre uncomfortable (for any reason), but theres alot of free stuff around that you could do on your own and get you started with whatever martial arts or boxing you thought might be fun to try. It would be really inpowering and it could grow and could be so much fun even if you werent quite sure in the beginning that it was something youd be interested in and if your confidence is really low and you were looking for anything to cling to that might help, that could be an option. You should knock someones fucking head off or it would atleast give you the strength not to and not feel like you shouldve done something knowing that you couldve. Most guys cant really fight all that well and the ones that can and the toughest guys dont go around starting shit like that, so you atleast know you could probably take on anyone easily that tried to put you down in that way.

I really like to be around women like I genuinely enjoy being around them and talking to them but when I talk to them I just talk to them as people. I dont have any alterior motives or see them as just something to potentially fuck. And youve all been around enough of them to know that theyre not all angels and theyre not something you should put on some high pedestal. They have flaws and thoughts and insecurites and some of them are heartless and dont care about people or peoples feelings at all. If all women cared about (which they dont) was how much you could fill their pussy up then they wouldnt be worth shit. Fuck them, you have to build up some kind of armor to the ones that are so shallow and clueless. And you can be just as heartless as they are and really make them feel like shit too. Do you think all the women that has made fun of you felt so secure or invinsible, you could cut them down and get at them right back. And you all know that there is guys with smaller ones that are happy and have meaningful relationships, so you know that it can be done and that its not impossible and that should give everyone hope.

[samesame]

I can already fight, and have got into many fights over the years. The trouble is, you cant fight everyone who hands out the humiliation. Fair enough, we all know the people who abuse us are shallow, stupid, dumb etc, but it wont ever stop them. We have to find another way of dealing with it.

for now, I am trying to find a way of just accepting it as a part of life. To accept humiliation and abuse without negative emotion to achieve happines, seems counter intuiative. However logically, for someone carrying an unchangeable phsyical deformity, this mindset can be the only defence.

[Recluse]

I have been doing martial arts and boxing for the greater part of a decade. It has helped me but it has done nothing to improve my situation with women. I will say, it has made life better and if I didn't have that, I might be in prison or homeless now. That being said, my situation with women has not improved. It's amazing how we keep hearing the same story in these forums.

[Anguished]

I've noticed the "broken record" syndrome on these threads myself, of which I am a major offendor.

When I found this site it felt like a burden was lifted from my shoulders, but looking back, I'm in the same place today as I was when I started posting here.

I wish I had better ideas or some solutions to share, but unfortunetly I only have more of the same. The amount of posting has really gone down over the last few months. I guess everyone is stuck in the same rut.

Nobody puts us through the torment we inflict on ourselves, thus I hope some of you will join me in a pledge to stop the self-loathing.

It's not a solution, just a step. Good luck everyone.

[flander]

Yep. Being able to kick someone's head in, owning a new Corvette, and having a Smith & Wesson 500 under your jacket impresses women so much that they totally forget that they can't tell the difference when your dick is inside them or not.

[Guest ASchwartz]

flander and others,

Learning martial arts is a real confidence builder. However, becoming violent, in any way, does not help. The fact is that you can fight and fight but, if confidence and feeling good inside is not part of you, then fighting will do nothing for you exept land you in prison.

Allan

[CantGiveItAway]

I dont think you have to fight to be tough or know how to fight to be ok with not wanting to be violent. I wasnt speaking to anyone in particular when I was talking about learning to defend yourself. The reason wasnt to become some ninja and kick anybodys ass that gave you shit or that it would solve all peoples women problems but maybe it would help someone find some inner strength and that might be part of making someone feel better.

And the reason why people say some of the same things over and over is because theres not some unheard thing or secret that people have that someones gonna come along and take everyones pain away. Whether your 10 or a 100, theres nothing new under the sun. All the feelings you have have been felt before and all the answers are right infront of you. But what works for you might not work for someone else and maybe hearing something again or in a different way might help bring them along. Theres not a quick fix or a list where people can say do this then do that, theres not a magic formula for someone to follow thats gonna make people accept themselves. Its a constant thing you have to live with and a constant effort and people have to deprogram themselves in some ways and as long as your trying you have a chance to make a change. All people can do here is and support and encourage and suggest things and maybe youve found a few good friends but noone can reach across here and make someone do or feel anything.

[samesame]

flander and others,

Learning martial arts is a real confidence builder. However, becoming violent, in any way, does not help. The fact is that you can fight and fight but, if confidence and feeling good inside is not part of you, then fighting will do nothing for you exept land you in prison.

Allan

Any proffessional advice on building confidence?

I have asked before if you could link to more information on "mindful meditation", or can you maybe expand on that part of your article here, as my attempts have mostly crashed and burned.