Nessie Posted February 28, 2011 Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 I'm a gay man that has been in a relationship with another man for 4 months now. For the past month, I've been really starting to fantasize about having sexual encounters with other people. The fantasies are primarily voyeuristic or exhibitionistic and don't necessarily involve any kind of actual physical contact. This invariably happens with every relationship I've been in. The chances of breaking down and acting on my impulses usually starts to appear 3 months in and I usually will act on it within the first year if the relationship lasts that long. My longest relationship lasted about 7 years.I'm seeing a sex therapist every two weeks for small penis syndrome and I can certainly talk with him about this but I just need to make it through the week without breaking and doing something I might regret.Speaking of which, I don't know that I fully understand why I consistently end up wanting to cheat around...and ultimately doing it. Theories include, I'm insecure about my penis and so I feel like I need validation from other people. My current partner is somewhat larger than me so I've been fantasizing about ways to find someone more my size, hoping that it brings some comfort (damn, until I suppose I want to cheat on him too! )My father cheated on my mother, including with her best friend and with my mother's sister-in-law! I hated my father for this kind of behaviour and yet I wonder if I'm repeating it somehow because of him???Perhaps I somehow want out of my current relationship so i'm going to explore other options and hope I either find someone better or I'm going to use the cheating to sabotage my current relationship?Maybe humans are not inherently monogamous but we try to do it anyway to avoid emotional complications (say, jealousy)....? It's a nice way to try to rationalize the apparent desire for variety that I have but maybe there's something to it?I know, everyone is probably unique but I wonder if there are any known personality aspects that cheaters have in common? Like I said, I'm just going to try to make it through this week but I'm already putting out feelers for cheating options. I'm having a hard time making myself want to stop and was hoping for useful insight here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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