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Please Help Solve My Life Problems!!!


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Hello All,

I am 25 years old guy currently unemployed, unstable and still not graduated. Due to my multiple attempts to treat my depression without taking medications i have been a failure in all my fields whether its relationships, career or studies. When i researched over Internet, i found out that i carry all the depression symptoms. I feel that i have been suffering it from past 10-12 years which i have overlooked and now it has become so intense that i have been concentrating more on treating my problems rather than on other fields.

Treatment : I tried lot of remedies to treat my depression consciously and unconsciously but nothing was successful being it medications, jobs, love affairs, friends, philosophies (Buddhism, Scientology).

Conclusion : Now i have challenged to get rid of this problem completely. I have even started to maintain a diary of events of my daily activities and mood swings. Please help and suggest me what to do. Am i taking my life very seriously???? Also please find below results after going through various personality tests.

Problems i found out during self analysis:

1. I think a lot (mostly negative).

2. I get confused while taking any decisions.

3. I get lot of fits when i think extreme.

4. I am stuck between my past and future thoughts.

5. I have difficulty getting up in the morning.

6. I always reach late in any meeting, job or any event.

7. I feel dull during morning till afternoon but become active in evening time.

8. I expect a lot from my friends, family in return but it doesn't bother me much as i don't get it.

9. I am able to learn practical stuff but i am not able to learn anything which is theory based.

10. I have difficulty to concentrate and learn anything which is ART related (music or dance) mostly problem of co-ordination.

11. I feel unsure about my career and future prospects and finding out solutions to make it better.

12. I feel irritated, depressed and jealous sometimes when i see my peers living happily with their stable careers specially in my field.

13. My level of confidence is at extreme and then suddenly at zero and sometimes rarely negative.

14. I feel that i have been blessed with opportunities but i don't have confidence to pursue it.

15. I have problem of what others think and sometimes i take action accordingly.

16. I also have problem of cleanliness which sometime turns very obsessive.

17. I feel that i have become left brained rather than right brained.

18. I only learn things after taking risk and not when advised by others.

19. Feelings of worthlessness and guilt

20. Lack of enthusiasm and motivation

21. Fatigue or lack of energy

22. Thoughts of death or suicide

23. Unexplained aches and pains

24. Extreme sensitivity to criticism

25. Withdrawing from some, but not all people


Personality Disorder Test


This test covers the DSM-IV Personality Disorders

Paranoid - 66%

Schizoid - 58%

Schizotypal - 82%

Antisocial - 58%

Borderline - 86%

Histrionic - 54%

Narcissistic - 54%

Avoidant - 34%

Dependent - 70%

Obsessive-Compulsive - 70%


Career Inventory Test


Extroversion - 56%

Emotional Stability - 46%

Orderliness - 56%

Altruism - 60%

Inquisitiveness - 50%

Personality type is ENFP

Edited by lostinlyfe
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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Lostinlyfe,

I get the feeling that you are attempting to cure your problems by yourself under the false notion that it is better to be totally independent. Its an old American myth that being "tough and independent is good." The trouble is that no one is totally independent. In fact, the nature of mankind is that we have always needed each other and we will always need one another.

What I am leading up to is that you have spent years attempting to cure you depression on your own or in your own way. It seems to me that now it would make sense to accept professional help.

By professional help I am referring to a combination of medication and psychotherapy. The type of medication will depend on your diagnosis. If you have a Bipolar Disorder, there is one class of medications. If it is Major Depression there is another class of medicines, and, etc.

However, medication alone is not enough. You need to be engaged in psychotherapy to help you learn about whatever type of disorder you have and to help you learn new and healthier comping mechanisms so that you no longer feel "lost in life."

Haven't you suffered enough and isn't time you began a fresh, new and happier life?

What do others think??


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After reading lostinlyfe's post I believe I can understand what it means to be 20 something while feeling defeated and confused as some of his post is familiar to me. This experience leaves one somewhat vulnerable for "solutions" that end in further confusion; which is why I agree with Allan that other forms of help should be tried. Personally I would have enjoyed some form of counseling, but I did seek any out as I could not accept the "taboo" of doing so. But, my circumstances are not shared by everyone, and perhaps lostinlyfe will be able to overcome bias towards help from professionals. Yet, I found that some of the things that really helped steer me in the right direction was to review the things that meant a great deal to me. By gathering things like my academic works, hobbies, and interests, I realized that I had a good deal to offer to other people. Also, sometimes actually hearing what others thought of me and my performance was very encouraging when my own opinion of myself was not very good.

Of course, working one's way from such a difficult state is tough. To suddenly turn one's focus upon oneself to evaluate personal goals, motivations, and thoughts is a seriously trying process. I'm sure some of my posts here with the community illustrate the way I tried to work things out for myself, and my tendency to overthink things. But, in my opinion, I indeed succeeded in evaluating my thoughts and the way I address issues in my life. I do not suggest that my decision to self-help was correct, but it is genuinely difficult to help oneself without some sort of counseling in some way, shape, or form.

For what it is worth, lostinlyfe, you are not alone; but, of the many, you have decided to share what others simply keep to themselves. For that, I thank you as this post may show others sharing similar circumstances that they are not necessarily the only ones suffering.

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  • 3 weeks later...

First I would like to say, Self Diagnosis is a bad idea. I am a hypochondriac. To this day I still think I have Asperger's Syndrome because I read it on the internet, however the people who know me can say that the symptoms don't match as well as I think. The thing is if we look hard enough at everything, we can find something wrong. I can personally pin point several problems with me with out even thinking.

However, considering the list of concerns you have given me, you certainly match the profile of clinical depression. Most likely Bipolar Disorder (Manic/Depression). But DO NOT take my word for it, consult a Psychological Diagnostician for help identifying your problem. And please stop looking on the internet for what's wrong, you will ONLY make your condition worse, trust me... I'm a hypochondriac.

As for treating it, there are medications, and if the medications you have tried do not work, switch them out, or adjust them accordingly. ALWAYS consult a Psychiatrist before doing this. I was treated with a three pill cocktail when I was diagnosed with an Unspecified Mood Disorder. Tegretol, Respridol, and Lexapro. However this treatment will not help everybody. Consult a Psychiatrist and find meds that work for you. If you have to, check yourself into a two week mental health hospital. My experience at my local one helped me make it through high school.

Trust me, I know what living with depression is like. I have been diagnosed with depression, anger, anxiety, hypomania and basic mood swings as part of a UMD (Unspecified Mood Disorder). Seeking help does not make you crazy, it makes you sane. It takes a sane mind to say that there is a problem. I wish you the best of luck. I hope you take the initiative, and find your answer.

- Anonymous

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  • 2 weeks later...

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