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I had sex last night


Fedup
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Well it didn't work out at all LOL. I think she is a bit crazy to be honest. As soon as she got back to hers we were back on web cam and she was texting me all day. On Sunday she was texting, also called me and we were on web cam in the evening. Monday texting again but I didn't go on web cam because I was tired and went to bed. It's at this point she tells me she's been vomiting blood all day due to an ulcer. It's noticeable she doesn't say good night for the first time. Still she texts me Tuesday afternoon and we laugh about how good are date was. I text her Wednesday asking how she was and she doesn't respond lol. Was first time I text her first.

Anyway we have no communication until today when she says hello to me on MSN and asks how I was. I told her I'm fine she then proceeds to tell me how she got raped by 3 men two days ago. I don't believe her but be sympathetic just in case it was true. I find it hard to believe she was vomiting blood and raped within the 2 weeks of meeting me. To top it all despite me listening to her problems she just signs off without a good bye which annoyed me. I don't see why she would tell me of all people if it was true after we hadn't spoken for a week.

On the positive side I still had sexual relations with a crazy woman and still no penis insult in sight. I still sometimes had fleetingly paranoid thoughts about it but realise it's just in my head. Maybe the next woman will be "The One".

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Guest ASchwartz

Good and healthy thinking, Fedup. It seems you are really moving in the direction where you can change your name to something more positive than "fedup." :)

Allan

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Good and healthy thinking, Fedup. It seems you are really moving in the direction where you can change your name to something more positive than "fedup." :)

Allan

Yeah maybe I should change name. Not sure how to though?

How do you think/:)feel about realizing 'its all in my head'?

It feels better but it hasn't happened instantly. I'm still quite inexperienced but get more confident each time. The main problem I've encountered is sometimes not being able to stay fully erect because of the anxiety I have had. On the occasions this has happened the women have got really insecure about themselves not being attractive enough for me. That's when it has dawned on me that I am putting too much pressure on myself to be perfect. None of the women have called me small and none have even hinted at it. In fact I've received quite a few compliments, not on my size but overall bed room prowess.

If I was more confident outside of the bedroom and able to attract women regularly I'm pretty sure I'd be over it fully by now. I just need to start working on my social skills a bit more, especially when it comes to women.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Managed to have more sexual contact with a different woman last week. We were kissing a lot but she would only go as far as dry humping despite my best efforts. I notice that she was very insecure. Anytime I tried to go near her vagina or boobs she simply wouldn't let me touch them. I had a brief insecure moment myself when she was dry humping on top of me. I am certain that my penis is smaller if I am laying down, thus it isn't my favourite position to be in. We're still in contact and I am pretty sure I'll get sex next time.

I don't think I am in this for a long term relationship though. I'm not sure why because she's quite attractive but I think it may be because she has children. I'm just not getting the same feeling of attraction as in the past.

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