ok......

[wasup1]

1stly, hi im new. 2ndly...... i have no idea what to think now

I love this girl right, she broke up with me about 2 weeks at the most now. and then. this is what happened.

3 weeks beforehand, she had a girls night. the day after, her friend said she slept with the other guy that was there. the next day, my ex told me. that all that happened was they kissed. then. 2 weeks ago... she wanted another girls night

said her friend is coming down. i asked wat time will she be home, she said about midnight. i went ok cool, bye, love you. she went love u 2, mwah. so yeah, she had the girls night.... i went home, went to bed. woke up at 3, looked around, she wasnt there. i was like, i hope she's ok... went looking for her, couldnt find her. then i called her mobile, it rang out. then i tried again, then it was turned off, i was stressing out, i called her friend that she was at, and she told me she left 3hrs ago. so at midnight. i was full on stressing out, then till 7 i was trying to call her. then at 7:01 i got into contact with her. she goes, ill be back later to pick my stuff up, i was like what... why.... and then she goes, isnt it obvious. then hanged up.... then she wouldnt talk to me wat so ever for that day and a half. i called my friend afterwards, told him everything, then he went, i gtg man... then i heard a voice *what did he want*. to be continued in next post.

[wasup1]

i thought i heard her voice. so i called him up again. he went nah she's not here, i was sure i heard her voice.... he went no..... then we hanged up. then after a while, i asked to talk to her, she wouldnt...... she got my friend to get her stuff. and dropped it at her mums place.

but he only dropped it off the next day, then after, i got a message from her uncle, you better watch ur back mate. i was like wtf. when i got home, i called him, he goes... i have to ask you this, did u ever hit tamara, i went no, never ever ever would. if i did, my whole family would kill me. he goes, i thought so. cause you never even went boo when she picked on you big time.

so yeah.... i called her brother, told him everything... at first, he wanted to kill me, then he said... for some reason, i believe you... i went... is it because she said, if she got angry at me, she will tell him, and he would bash me, he went, thats why i believe you man. and plus u remember everything.

first it was a punch, then a push, then a slap. no marks or nothing. then after, on the way home, i stopped off at her uncles work... turns out, she was talking about my best friend to him countless times. said he was going to the movies with her. and yeah. and that he stayed at his place that night. i went ok... went home. my friend called me, i pulled over. started talking to him.... i went, would u ever lie to me man?? he went no. i went to him, well i have a few ppl saying u were with tam the other night. and u said u never talked to me, is that true. he went no, then i went, IS THAT TRUE? then he went yes. then i went so u being my friend means nothing if u never even told me the truth. then hanged up on him, completely hurt and betrayed by my best friend, and my ex fiancee.....firstly my ex broke up with me, then my best friend lied to me... to me lying is the same as betrayal. tbc

[wasup1]

i went home, full on cranky..... angry..... and everything.... i wanted to kill... but dw, i didnt. i went home and got my machete........ i punched my boot 50 times.... trying to calm myself down. nothing.... i talked to a friend of mine, and she calmed me down just enough for when he came down.... i gave him the rest of her shit... then he talked to me, saying she bossed him into going to the movies, and that she said she was staying at his for the night. he wanted to say no, but she paid for him to go to the movies, so he took her to his. he slept on the floor, her on the bed. this went on for about an hr. then we talked to her at same time. turned out, she has been telling everyone i hit her. he told me everything that happened. and yeah..... NEED HELP....

i still love her after all this. and dont know what to do. i want her back, but dont want to get hurt again.

and she claims i have anger problems.

[kaudio]

Hi, I read your posts; some of the details seemed to be out of context but I think I understand that there are some conflicting accounts of your behaviour shared by some of the people around you. I do not really know your circumstances, but since she has left your home, try to take this as an opportunity to relax as best you can and sort things out.

From your posts, it seems that you have spoken with your ex-fiance's family and friends, and that some immediate concerns were dealt with - the important one being whether you physically abused your ex-fiance. It's unfortunate, but this situation sounds like one of he says, she says; and, I think you should keep distance from this ex. If you did not physically abuse her, she did not do you a favour by spreading claims of abuse on your part. Also, from what I gather from your last post, your friend confirmed that your ex is indeed continuing to claim abuse. My suggestion would be to take the time to speak with people of immediate interest who are intimately familiar with yourself and your ex and share your understanding of the situation as you have discovered it for yourself.

"first it was a punch, then a push, then a slap." Are you being attacked? Perhaps it would be best to telephone these people of interest or visit them during hours you would consider safer. Also, is there someone of the community you can share this with? A priest? A local counselor? Your ex seems to find it easy to share her side of the story, so it is only fair that you offer yours as well. If you are being attacked, and your ex is making claims of abuse, I strongly suggest sharing the situation with the police. If the attacks continue and escalate in severity, you have to involve the police.

The rest aside, as you say, your ex claims you have anger problems. Do you believe you have problems with anger? Do you have relationship problems that seem to recur? If you do, it would not hurt to try seeking out some counseling to address these matters.

Edited October 22, 2008 by kaudio

[wasup1]

thank you for ur posts. i actually have a cop friend in another country, and he told her because 3 ppl actually said that she cheated on me, by law, all she is allowed is basically her clothings and personal belongings, like pictures, and that sort of stuff.

I never ever hit her, not 1 single bit. not even a tap. firstly, her brother believed her, then i called him up and now he believes me. and no, around where i am, nothing much to talk too. unless you talk to horses... lmao.... well i know for a fact that i dont have any sort of anger problems. I also had A.D.D. when i was young, and i have learnt to control it. well at first, apairantly, her boss, had decided to start playing match maker. and yeah.... after she started doing that, it all went down-hill, and i mean fast. She was trying to get my friend to go out with her.

anyway, her uncle believed me also. because he actually saw her pick on me constantly, and paid me out big time. and i basically did nothing.... just stood/sat there and took it... i was like hmmm ok. hmm ok. and yeah. thats all that happened from me, cause i didn't really care. because it was her being her.

and yes i do still love her.... apairantly, she even said to a few of my friends i hit her.... their responce was bull ****, she was like he did, honest. they went.... i dont see any marks. and i found out... that she told her uncle, she was gonna break up with me and watnot. and yeah.

[paula]

Hi Wasup1

I totally agree with Kaudio. Listen to what she is saying. She is trying to advise you, support you!

Just think of it this way, You could of been married with children? I believe in a saying that a Leopard will never change it's spots! Just be thankful that's she done it now before you got married & have children

It's going to be hard at first but you'll get over it, we all do!

I'm speaking up front now & you might not like what I say but they say the truth alway's hurts! This girlfriend of yours couldn't of loved you. She wouldn't of even stayed out late if she did. Obviously, this relationship was one sided! Think about it! She's ended the relationship by saying to you that she was picking her stuff up and when you questioned that she replied by saying isn't it obvious? That should of been enough to tell you! In other words, she has stayed out all night and either been with a guy or doesn't want the relationship to carry on?

Good ridance to bad rubish is what I say!