Juvenile Son Abusing His Mother

[Gleter]

Hello:

We have a widowed, disabled friend 50 years old whose 15 year old son is physically abusing her. He has beat her enough to leave many bruises and scratches on her body. She has surgical rods in her back and really cannot defend herself. The child seems to push her around and hit her about once a week when he doesn't get his way, like being made to go to school when he doesn't want to. The death of her husband and his father a little over a year ago has taken an emotional toll on all three of them. (there is a 13 year old son as well) We urged counseling, which they all received but the problem child is now receiving only public school counseling.

Obviously, some action must be taken ASAP. She lives only on social security income, so money is an issue. My wife and I have talked to the child but it has made little difference. I would love to hear any suggestions.

Thanks.

Edited October 28, 2008 by Gleter
Clarification

[qtzdue]

This may be hard for you to here. You need to call the police and report the abuse. At the very least it will get The boy the help he needs. The insurance that is provided by the state should also take care of any therapy bills but if none of this looks viable then the only other option is for you to pay for it. I beg you to remember that help in any way is better than allowing him to grow up thinking how he is behaving is acceptable becuase his wife and child will recieve even more abuse. All the things that could happen from reporting it to the police need to happen. He needs to know that his behavior is not without conciquence.

[Guest ASchwartz]

qutzdue and Gleter:

qutzdue is correct. The situation that you described, Gleter, should be reported to the police and it would be best if she would call 911 herself when he abuse was happening. However, if she will not then you can do it yourself. It is true that this youngster needs to be stopped and needs to know that the law prohibits this behavior.

Allan:(

[Gleter]

Thank you very much for your responses. I agree with them, but the mother went ballistic when we passed along the advice on how to best handle her situation. She became very angry and told us to stay away from her, we are no longer friends. She will have to move beyond her denial of this very serious problem before we can help her. We still see her as a friend who needs help, and want only best for mother and children alike.

Edited October 29, 2008 by Gleter

[Mark]

Many states have elder or adult protective services departments who have the specific mission of investigating and intervening when elder abuse is present. There are lots of links for resources of this type on the internet such as here. I bet you can make an anonymous report of the abuse to the relevant agency in your state. reporting to the police is also useful. None of these things necessarily mean that the abuse will be stopped, but at least you will have done what is possible to do (if you do one of these things).