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So confused ... please help


confused2728
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Hello I am new to this but I am finding it hard to cope.

I met my guy a year and a half ago. We were friends (best friends) in grades one adn two but then he moved away and I never saw him again. Thanks to facebook we reunited...instantly fell in love and moved in together. Well the issues and the drama begin.

We had our ups and downs in the last year and a half and I have stuck by him. He is bipolar and has gotten help for it and is currently on medications. Well the physical abuse has stopped but the mental/emotional has started. I am not even sure it's him or me anymore. I am frustrated though because I see alot of double standards with him.

For example I have just recently started leaving my cell phone on the counter while I shower or in the house when I go to pick up my daughter from daycare and he says to me that he feels like I am cheating on him when I don't answer my phone. He expects me to answer at all times. Then he will call in a good mood but then hears that I am taking a bath and he says why so I tell him becuas emy back hurts. He says "you are always so negative is there any day that you aren't in pain." I was like wow okay...We argued for an hour and a half about that and various other things that I just gave up arguing with him and just started agreeing.

he looks at porn everyday...and I mean every day...when he wakes up and before he goes to bed. We haven't had sex in over two weeks and the last time we tried he couldn't keep it up. He sleeps so far away from me in bed now and he used to wake up at least 4 times a night telling me he loved me and to roll over so he can hold me. He told me he is distant right now because I react to everything. Asked me if I was cheating on him and of course I reacted because I am the most loyal person around and he should know that. So of course I reacted and he said that I just proved his point.

There is so much more that I am not writing down otherwise this would be a book. My co-workers and my friends want me to leave him because he is not right and he is very controlling. I am trapped right now because of the financial strains however I have started looking for another job.

My 13 year old daughter hates him and says that he treats me like a baby all the time and talks down to me.

I am so confused because he is hot and cold; up and down; happy and pissed off. I just never know.

I don't know if it's me and my issues or if it's him anymore, any fight we have is ALWAYS my fault!!

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Hi confused, welcome to the community. The first matter that comes to mind is whether you and your daughter are safe with this man. You mention that he has struck you before, are you alright? Are you in any immediate danger? If you are injured, I strongly suggest you seek treatment for your injuries, and begin to look for another place apart from this man. You and your daughter are entitled to a safe environment to live and work in. Even if the abuse is generally directed towards you, your daughter suffers vicariously.

Also, please consider searching for some emergency services, such as women's shelters, and services for people in crisis. Look for them in your local phone book and make inquiries as to how they work. Further, you could ask if close friends or relatives would be able to accommodate you; the goal is to prepare yourself in case your guy becomes violent again. If your guy does become violent again, it would be in your best interest to leave with your daughter immediately, and involve the police.

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