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wasup1
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wasup1,

I read your other thread and this one. I used to work for a law enforcement agency. I do not believe they will request or even allow for you to take a polygraph (lie detector) unless formal charges have been filed.

You might contact the police dispatch center and ask to have an officer call you back. They will want to know why. You can tell them you are being accused by an ex-girlfriend of doing something you did not do and you would just like some basic advice from the officer. You will need to leave your first name (some departments require a full name) and your phone number. When the officer calls you back, just explain the situation and ask for the officer's advice. The officer may advise you to fill out an informational report or may suggest you get a court order (restraining order) against your ex. Or they may advise you not to do anything at all right now unless she tries to file charges against you. Make sure you write down the officer's name and badge number so you have it as a reference in case she does file charges.

Although I am not in your situation, from your description it sounds like your ex- might just be telling people she knows about your supposed "abuse" to gain their sympathy and not to be judged by them for cheating on you. (I classify the kissing session as 'cheating'--even if she admits to nothing else). I had an ex- who told all of her friends (and my friends) that she left me because I was gay. I am not gay; she was trying to get people on her side since she had cheated and left me for a friend of mine but she did not want to feel judged about it.

It definitely sounds like the best course of action for you may be to try to put this behind you, heal up as much as possible, and try to keep her out of your mental 'field of vision' so she does not bother you so much. This may be difficult if you share common friends or if either of your are close to the other's family, or if you have children together.

I wish you the best in your situation. Keep talking about your frustration--we are here to listen.

Best,

Sean

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Only do a polygraph test if you want to star on a cheesy chat show where the object of the game is to get the viewers angry and hungry for more potato chips.

On average they're no more accurate than flipping a coin according to an article I read in the Newscientist magazine a few years back written by a professor in a californian university reviewing lie detection techniques. It turns out the most reliable lie detector on the market is a human, but only some of them.

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xaq,

You're absolutely correct about polygraph exams. It is a 'dirty little secret' in law enforcement circles that the tests are neither scientific nor accurate. They are the law enforcement equivalent of the placebo effect. Yet, federal, state and many local governments continue to use the polygraph to intimidate, manipulate and negotiate with the less informed.

I've taken two polygraph exams in the past and each one indicated areas in which I was supposedly untruthful, yet I was being completely honest to the point of wracking my brain and tears because I thought I had lost the jobs I was applying for. Only afterwards did I find out that one of the most important tools polygraph examiners are taught to use is deception. Imagine that--the examiners for lie detector tests are taught to lie when giving the test!

So, for this reason if no other, please do not do the polygraph wasup--they can end up casting suspicion on the innocent, yet guilty people can beat them undetected.

So, now you know (and knowing is half the battle),

;)

Sean

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