abuse?

[vegan114]

My husband and I have been together almost ten years. At first things were good. He was sweet. First things that I noticed was he would say in a joking way I was fat or didn't I eat yesterday? Type of thing.

He would yell at me latter on and ask me who I thought I was speaking to if I tried to tell him something had upset me. Or I get told to shut up or I'm acting stupid.

Throughout the years a big issue I had was my grandma. In the ten years I have lived with him I haven't been able to see her. She is 95 and while she does live a long way off she is important to me and I'm afraid ill never see her again. We do have animals he says he can't and wont watch if I go see her. A constant threat he gives is he will take them to the pound if I go see her.

He had or came very close to having affairs with three women I know of that he will not break off contact with. He will openly send notes to them and other women saying things how pretty and special they are even though he knows it hurts me.

I have or am believed to have aspergers he likes to use it against me to hurt my feelings and tells his friends I have it and the women he likes even strangers. I've told him dozens of times how much it hurts when he does this but he continues to do it. He recently mentioned I jad it to someone that enturn transpired into them calling social services to the house he said he told them as a joke but that was a nasty joke.

another worry and concern is I have no control or access to money. He got mad at me once and said I was worthless did nothing and he had the only say in things because he made the money. A month later I found a job and a good one at that I was so excited but he got do angry at me when I told him he hung up on me. I didn't take the job.

I was extremely sucidal not long ago and when I told him he said that it was fine if I died he said he thought it was a good idea. I tried but failed he was angry about possible doc bills.

Even if this is abusive behavior I can't do anything about it even so. He's not hit me. Could be he just doesn't care.

[JaneE]

Oh boy, this is heartbreaking!!! I hate to see anyone treated like this. Many things you are talking about apply to me, the verbal abuse, public humiliation and disrespect. The other women, oh gosh, that's worse than what I've had to contend with. I'm so very sorry.

I wish I knew what to tell you.... besides the obvious: I think you need to leave this abusive turkey!!!!! What keeps you there? Is it fear of living on your own? Do you have kids??

I isolated myself too, tried to make myself as non-threatening as possible. Nothing worked, and now I'm blamed for everything. We are wasting years of our lives. What keeps me?

I have a kid.

I'm so confused by him that I feel I've lost my mind, some days I can't keep anything straight, and am in a fog.

I'm trying to extricate myself, but I feel so guilty.. and what if he verbally abuses our son when I'm not around?

*sigh*

Tell me more about your situation. Maybe we can help each other a little??? I don't have Asperger's, I think I'm probably ADDpi, and I have been diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder.

Aspies are smart, though!!! :-D And I'm a talented artist, so we'll be okay on our own, right?

Nice to meet you, vegan114!

Jane