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What should I do?


Verbally abused?
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My youngest daughter is 10. Still adjusting to her older sister 12 beginning Junior High. She is going through some kind of thing where I think that somehow, I am not giving her enough attention. I try my hardest to make sure that I am not treating any of them like babies. They aren't babies anymore. My youngest has been spending the past week trying to get me to "buy In" to her dramatic, waterworks fits. I simply do not want to do this.

Our family has been watching alot of Nanny911 and it makes me wonder if she is acting out because of what we have seen on the show. Almost like I feel as though she is testing me. Maybe I am just over reacting? I really don't know what to do about this current situation. :eek:

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Guest GingerSnap

Kids do learn from TV. When I had issues with my oldest son when he entered junior high, I called the guidance counselor who totally understand how to handle it. It is also good to check with the teacher to see if there is any problems with your daughter at school. Just hang in there and hang tough because you are entering the crucial years of you being in charge and guiding your daughters or not. It would not hurt to replace that TV show and make sure you have time together without the TV on to just talk and pay attention to one another. Watching TV with the kids doesn't really amount to "quality" time.

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Thanks Ginger. I try to do things without the blasted TV. I think they literally "rot" our brains. Lately, Quality time with my girls has been tough. There are alot of days that I leave for work just before they get home from school. Alot of swing shifts for me.

Not to mention, other than camping, my husbands only idea of family time involves a screen of some sort. Movies tv that sort of thing.

The way my hubby changes when he get in the "wilderness" changes to the point that He and kids get up early and go fishing, he does 90% of the cooking. We go swimming. We play basketball, volleyball and all sorts of other things. I just don't get why he feels he needs to be "camping" in order to do this.

I am torn down the middle. Take girls to the park and play ball, tag whatever and then later on deal with my hubby's "what about me?" fit. Or see if the girls want to do something at home.

Does this sound like I put my husband before my kids? I think that families should be able to function as an entire unit, with all parts equally important. No one part sould be more important than another.

What do you think? Anyone.

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  • 1 month later...

I know what you mean about putting your husband first. I'm in the process of leaving my horrifically verbally abusive husband, and I feel a far greater connection to my son these days, now that he is not eclipsed by my inability to make things work with my husband. I gave up on the husband, but the kid is awesome.

Your situation is tough, working swing shifts, and your family out of your sights so much, it's hard to have a cohesive unit just for that reason, I'd imagine. If the only time you guys spend together away from a screen is camping, then I suppose you should try to do a lot of camping!! :-) My family did this when we were young, in all weather, haha.

As for your daughter's waterworks, just talk to her about stuff. Take her feelings seriously, don't invalidate her!! My mother is terrible for this kind of thing. I guess she couldn't handle my worries and upsets, but I never felt she supported me, either. To this day we are not close, I feel I have no mother. So my advice there is, please just talk to them!! Talk about what you saw together on the TV, ask her how it made her feel, tell her how you felt. Just that is such a rare gift.

Good luck with everything!

Jane

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