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Feeling used


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I started out looking for help for my friend that was suicidal and what could be expected after her therapy started.

She still isn't talking to me, o.k. I get it thinking she may be embarrassed or maybe she doesn't want me to ask questions but from her husband I've been told that this whole mess started because she was/is commiting adultry.

Do people actually try to commit suicide over that? I took it very serious and went to go help when asked and when I spoke with her that morning she gave me another reason why she wanted to end her life.

I am confused, a little mad and feeling a bit used. It was such a hard ordeal to be asked into and to see what it is doing to her kids and husband breaks my heart.

I am still her friend, not sure if she still wants to be mine. I speak with the husband and he says she has gone to visit her other friends and even went out to a club recently. So I keep asking myself why won't she return my calls?

I have to vent out some feelings...

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi afriend,

Let me assure you that you did the right thing in helping her to get hospitalized. Yes, there is a chance that she is angry with you about that. I have always advised people in this situation that it's better to have a live friend who is angry at you than a dead one.

I know you can't help feeling used but try to remember that your friend is coping with a ton of depression.

Yes, adultry can be a reason behind her suicide attempt.

How is all of this affecting you and how are you dealing with it?


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It's not that often when you tell someone, "Call me if you need anything." that they actually call.

When this event happend I felt an intense sense of responsibility to help, to see them through this but my head tells me I cannot control the situation and to remain on stand-by where my heart is selfish and wants to do something to make it better right now.

I understand if she is not talking to me because she knows me as well as I know her. I am a territorial, opinionated, logical, tell it like it is person, she is too. We get along so well because we "get" each other. It should be said in the same sentence that I don't let people in my life frivolously but when they are in I will bend over backwards for a real friend.

Maybe she didn't confide in me for the obvious reasons above, to be that judging person wouldn't have helped her. I am glad I was able to be there and I would do it again if needed.

Allan to answer your question depends on what day it is.

Yesterday I was angry and then guilty for being angry because my friend is in pain.

I want to be mad at the situation and not at the person but how is that possible?

Today I feel a little relief, just because I got it off my chest and somebody read it.

Even if we wind up not being as close as we were a few weeks back we will still be friends. I'll take uncomfortable for now.

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