Emails/Chats as Anxiety Triggers

[Recycle]

Hi all,

Something is really getting to me today, and it's how emails/chats from my partner and their typical lack of emotion trigger my anxiety.

Logically, it sounds absurd I should care about how someone types a reply (e.g. "Sounds Good" vs. "Sounds good, baby! :)" but it really does trigger my anxiety.

I feel guilty for getting upset about such stuff because I know it is almost always unjustified and has another explanation (she was just busy). But, my anxious mind goes on auto pilot and thinks it means she's annoyed that I'm emailing, or worse.

It's this type of thing that bugs me so much about my anxiety..........my mind says it's dumb to worry about things such as this but my anxiety just takes it and runs with it like a dog with a toy.

[Solstice]

Hi Recycle -- I can certainly relate to what you wrote. E-mails and texts are tough for me too...it's so hard to "read" what (if any) emotion a person is intending to convey, and so easy to "read into" an e-mail something that isn't there, like annoyance. I've talked to others who feel the same way, so I don't think it's absurd for you to care, and I don't think you should feel guilty for getting upset -- unless, of course, you end up acting upset with your partner, which isn't really fair.

What works for me, if my anxieties start acting up over an e-mail or text that I think is too "snappish" or uncaring, is to close the e-mail, walk away, and go do something else to distract myself before the anxiety can really take hold. Then, before I go back to it, I think about all the reasons that I might have misinterpreted it. Only then do I go back, re-read it, and respond. Maybe something similar is worth a try for you?

[Endlessnight]

Hi Recycle,

my anxiety just takes it and runs with it like a dog with a toy.

that made me smile because it's such a good description of how I get also.

it's so hard to "read" what (if any) emotion a person is intending to convey, and so easy to "read into" an e-mail something that isn't there,

because of that my insecurities kind of take over and run wild, I don't know if that applies to you too, but if it does what Solstice said about walking away from a text or email for a while, sounds like a good idea. There will be time for our anxieties and insecurities to calm down a little, and hopefully more rational thinking will take it's place.

Edited September 10, 2011 by Endlessnight