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[!] Self hatred, SI


WinterSky
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I hate myself right now. I just want to cut myself. I want to slash myself and not stop. Not to kill myself but out of anger and self hatred. I talked to my therapist a second time today and she suggested I do something like watch something on TV. I don't feel like doing anything. I've never cried so hard in my life like I did today. I don't know why I am so angry. I don't ordinarily get angry like this.

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Well it's after 9pm CST here. Since I posted the above, I do feel a bit better. I've eaten a well balanced meal, talked to my brother, listened to music and have a scented candle going. I have gotten the clothes out for tomorrow including my jewelry. (I love jewelry.) My brother has really been a tremendous help this evening. He's usually a pain in the butt but I must say, he was really quite supportive.

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Hi wintersky you sound like you are doing better tonight and I'm glad for you. It is really good that you have your brother there to help and support you. You did very good with all the things you did to help yourself too, like eating well, the music and candle is all really good to try and relax and to pamper yourself in even a small way can help. Sometimes it is really hard to make the right choice of things to do in these moments of time but I applaud you, you did GREAT! :)

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Hi wintersky you sound like you are doing better tonight and I'm glad for you. It is really good that you have your brother there to help and support you. You did very good with all the things you did to help yourself too, like eating well, the music and candle is all really good to try and relax and to pamper yourself in even a small way can help. Sometimes it is really hard to make the right choice of things to do in these moments of time but I applaud you, you did GREAT! :)

Thanks so much for your post! I am feeling better this morning as well. I do not feel angry, I feel really sad though. But that is progress I guess. :)

I am going to go for a walk in the mall today. I will get dressed and put on my jewelry and perfume.

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