sadgreeneyes Posted October 14, 2011 Report Posted October 14, 2011 Hi, its been long since I have been in here, but things are the same with me and my exh, nothing has changed except I am given the silent treatment now. Just to sum up things, he has abused me emotionally before and I have feeling that it still has been going on as things must be his way, his manipulative way. So my needs and feelings has been still neglected and ignored. The reason I write, is that I try to find answer on the silent treatment.I know abusive people use the silent treatment, usually they use it on you even you havent done anything wrong at all to provoke his/her silent treatment. Sometimes you KNOW you are at fault for provoking the silent treatment, but you do apologize and admit your faults.I have admit I said something that wasnt so good maybe, said I would leave if he didnt want to see me , but at same time I do think he knows I said it for the reason it is as I have told him this. He knows I love him and need to see him. He knows I am willing to work on us if he can be willing to meet my needs too.I cant be the only one working on us,to get a visa, while he cant see me, its just not working that way. You have to give back SOMETHING. Never had his affection, have heard hurtful words, he divorced cruelly, he wants to remarry me, but he isnt willing to let me come see him because in his culture this is inappropriate as we are divorced now. But he can as well remarry me in his country and we could se each other. Fact is he can see me if he really wanted. I cant work alone, thats just not fair play. He is extremely manipulative and I am not sure if his silent treatment is for a period or if he has left for good.Does healthy people use the silent treatment? I have never heard that before, but ask this anyway. I know abusive people use it.Do I deserve the silent treatment? in my opinion nobody deserve that as it is considered one of the worst forms of abuse.He may chose to leave instead of co-operate like healthy people do. Its a clear evidence that if he leaves for good he has no capability to love. As it has been an issue he likely married for visa.
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