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Obsessive Jealousy


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I stumbled onto another roadblock and I felt this needed a release, whether or not people will help is another question.

To make it brief, I was brought up by my parents being competitive. These spur my thoughts and emotions that I must be the greatest of them all and if people amongst my age group or younger achieve better, I felt deeply disappointed in myself and get really jealous.

But things took abit of an ugly turn lately. I got jealous over something that I used to be proud of. I had a loving S.O (Significant other) that I cared for very much but we've been drifting into a sort of phase where we would argue alot for petty reasons. Whilst telling my best friend about it, I've gotten curious about his own relationship so I prodded him about it and he pretty much told me how they would get together alot and do meaningful things together, and then there's also the huge amount of sex.

I've gone ultimately green from then on and felt very miserable. You see, being competitive tends to allow you to compare one to another. So I compared my life and my own best friend who was actually younger and alot more successful than I am. I've felt like I achieved little in my life and even felt like I've hooked up with the wrong S.O. My S.O never did the things my best friend's S.O did and that spurred me into rage even more and criticize the hell out of my lover.

Common sense bugged me to keep me focus and reject it but it's no use. I couldn't find the solution to things that could improve my life because I get so dejected over how hopeless I am and admitted defeat. Every now and then, I'll get jealous over petty things like food, love and luxury. There's no way for me to stop feeling like there was a peak that I could achieve and should stay comfortable in that zone. But I'm not and I wanted more, I wanted someone who can rival my best friend's S.O and I wanted to just challenge myself to become better, though alas, like I said, I give up and continue to dream on my jealousy.

So I wonder, as I still have semblance of humility left in me, I ask for advice on this.

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Radically Accept the fact there's not a single person out there that's good at everything. It is what it is, let it go.

There's things that I'm great at and lack no confidence in. Then there's things that I absolutely horribly just plain suck at. That's just the way things go in life.

You need to figure out what you're great at and let that define who you are.

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I agree with AmericanPsycho. Find what defines you and what makes you great. Obviously your competitive spirit is unmatched. lol But when it comes to your S.O, you can be hard on yourself all you want, but it's not fair to be hard on your S.O and place expectations on them, when they don't even know that your expecting anything of them. Besides look at it from the other angle. What does your S.O do for you that your friend's doesn't do for them. I'm sure there's plenty and I'm sure from your friends point of view there might be even more that you don't notice. Besides this person was obviously very special to you at some point. Find out what's going on with them, how they feel about these petty fights, you just might find their feeling the same as you, which means your still on the same page, and that's worth holding on to, Right?

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