eppursimuove Posted October 21, 2011 Report Share Posted October 21, 2011 If theres something thats in my mind all day is flying or falling. I know a perfect place a huge cliff with a great view Ive looked down and I almost feel I can doit, when I feel dreprese I whant to go there, I think its a beatiful idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ASchwartz Posted October 24, 2011 Report Share Posted October 24, 2011 If you men suicide, it is never a beautiful idea.Do you have a psychotherapist and are you taking any medications, in other words, are you getting any outside help?allan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eppursimuove Posted October 26, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 26, 2011 yes allan i got a psychiatrist and psychologist, the first one only gives me meds and we speak a little and the 2cond one does al the theraphy, but my psychologist is in vacation now until next 2 weaks, I dont lie to her i tell her my ideas, and flying is the one i like more, the other idea i havent told them coz i dont whant them to take my meds out, today i whent for meds i got almost 40 Lithiums i would like to take them all with my other med that i dont now the translation, drink a bottle of vodka. And just lay back at bed.I think the falling from a huge altitude is more effective than the other one I dont know what the other stuff can do to me, may be they wont kill me.I really whanted to speak with my psychologist today. I dont feel ok at all, Im really upset i feel weird and really nervous. And I feel deppresive more often. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ASchwartz Posted October 26, 2011 Report Share Posted October 26, 2011 epp,I know what its like to need to speak to your therapist and they are away. Most of us find that extrememly stressful and I am sorry you have to go through this.Is there anything we can say that might help?Allan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenna520 Posted October 26, 2011 Report Share Posted October 26, 2011 Hi Epp, I'm sorry you are having a hard time. I know you are really struggling at this point and it seems like there's no one available professionally to help you. We're here.... I'm here....and I have confidence in you. Talk to us epp, stay strong, and put all of your emotions into your posts. Did something happen today regarding your mom or your brother's that has you on edge? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenna520 Posted October 26, 2011 Report Share Posted October 26, 2011 I missed you because I was away from my computer. YOU CAN DO THIS! I sent you a PM. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eppursimuove Posted October 26, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 26, 2011 Hi Allan, Hi Jenna there is nothing to do or say its these stupid emotions that comes and goes im just taking my meds in a normal way and continue, I dont feel normal ive sleept allmost all day i feel numb and cant concentrate in what i read and im nervous im just tired, and feel tired, even if ive sleept almost 11hs when i ussually sleep 6 or 7. Im going to work late but ill try to relax there, I also tryed to contact that priest friends of mine and he wasent in town its like where are these ppl. Im just Angry at the moment and my head hurts. Maybe i sould drop the meds and ill feell better I dindt take meds when i was younger and i was ok. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ASchwartz Posted October 27, 2011 Report Share Posted October 27, 2011 Epp, In my opinion you are so very upset right now that the idea of dropping the meds might be a way to punish yourself. Do you do things that relax you, like listening to music, exercising or other things that feel good? Do you have friends that it feels good to spend time with?I really am sorry you are going through this but we are here to be supportive, listen to you and be empathic.allan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eppursimuove Posted October 27, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 27, 2011 Hi Allan, I do listen to music and read a lot. I got many friends most of them know I take meds but they think its coz i got to much energy euphoria, i just feel the need to stand up and run, walk or just laugh to much happiness. But i havent tell them that sometimes i feel so sad that i feel i dont whant to live anymore. I only share these with my therapist.And yes Allan its seems that somehow i like to punish my self, i like making bad choices and put me in the worst situations posible. I dont understant that part of my yet.But i have taken my meds i dont whant my therapist to get mad at me when she comes back from her vacations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stigmabegone Posted March 28, 2012 Report Share Posted March 28, 2012 Hi Epp, I'm sorry that you are feeling so badly. I can honestly relate to what you are saying because I get into very deep depressions that take everything out of me and sometimes I just wish it would all go away. I think about suicide, but I don't really want to die, I just want to be oblivious for a little while. I want to go to sleep for a long time and wake up when things are better and I am better. Unfortunately, Depression comes and go and we seem powerless to control it. I am curious if you were diagnosed with Depression or with Bipolar Depression.Suicide is not the way to go. We only get one life to live, one chance at this world and I, for one, am definitely not going to allow this Depression to beat me.Whenever my psychologist is away I am told to contact my family doctor or emergency room if I really need help. Can you do that? Hang in there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eppursimuove Posted March 29, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 29, 2012 its and old post, im ok. dont worry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stigmabegone Posted March 29, 2012 Report Share Posted March 29, 2012 Good to hear! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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