Cant handle my life anymore, very unhappy

[sensitive_woman]

I keep feeling rage all the time. Is this normal?

Although I took a conscious decision to walk out of the marriage, got the divorce, I am very unhappy. I dont know why this happened. Why my ex-husband behaved in an abusive way though he loved me.

I have a hard time moving on with my life. I have a hard time getting out of this 'freeze' mode. What do I do?

I just cant socialize at all. I am staying totally isolated all the time. I dont feel like doing anything at all. I am constantly taking care of both my parents. Just got back from the hospital. My mom was diagnosed with colon cancer and on chemo. I take her to the hospital every 15 days and stay with her for 3 days. I feel my life has no meaning anymore, though Im glad I'm there with mom to take care of her.

I have a friend who tries to cheer me up all the time. She is a social butterfly and expects me to go out for parties with her and her friends and mingle around and meet people. All this irritates the shit out of me. I have become completely averse to social gatherings or even outing with friends.

I dont mind going out for a movie or a dinner with her but I dont want groups anymore. I just cant face people at all. It irritates the shit out of me when I see families together, happy children (though I loved kids earlier, I just cant stand them anymore). I know its not right but I cant help it, This is happening.

How do I handle my life? i cant get back on track either on a job or otherwise. I get bad dreams all the time. I even get dreams of my husband whisking me away to a foreign land where my inlaws dont exist at all and we live happily ever after. Why is this happening? Why cant I get him out of my mind and heart forever? What do I do? How do I throw him out of my mind and heart forever without looking back?

Edited October 30, 2011 by sensitive_woman

[eccentricwizard]

I keep feeling rage all the time. Is this normal?

Although I took a conscious decision to walk out of the marriage, got the divorce, I am very unhappy. I dont know why this happened. Why my ex-husband behaved in an abusive way though he loved me.

I have a hard time moving on with my life. I have a hard time getting out of this 'freeze' mode. What do I do?

I just cant socialize at all. I am staying totally isolated all the time. I dont feel like doing anything at all. I am constantly taking care of both my parents. Just got back from the hospital. My mom was diagnosed with colon cancer and on chemo. I take her to the hospital every 15 days and stay with her for 3 days. I feel my life has no meaning anymore, though Im glad I'm there with mom to take care of her.

I have a friend who tries to cheer me up all the time. She is a social butterfly and expects me to go out for parties with her and her friends and mingle around and meet people. All this irritates the shit out of me. I have become completely averse to social gatherings or even outing with friends.

I dont mind going out for a movie or a dinner with her but I dont want groups anymore. I just cant face people at all. It irritates the shit out of me when I see families together, happy children (though I loved kids earlier, I just cant stand them anymore). I know its not right but I cant help it, This is happening.

How do I handle my life? i cant get back on track either on a job or otherwise. I get bad dreams all the time. I even get dreams of my husband whisking me away to a foreign land where my inlaws dont exist at all and we live happily ever after. Why is this happening? Why cant I get him out of my mind and heart forever? What do I do? How do I throw him out of my mind and heart forever without looking back?

I wish I was like you.... I can't feel anything anymore. No emotions, no excitement, no energy, NOTHING. I am pretty much a dead person. Be thankful you are still alive in your mind, and find some way to divert your anger to happiness or joy.