I think i may be developing Schizophrenia...

[inferiority]

hello everyone,

i have been a member of this site for a few months now, but i have come to a point where, in addition to my other problem, i can no longer put off the fact that i have been experiencing really bizarre, and at times scary hallucinations, both visual and auditory.

a little more about me is that i am an american 16 year old boy who originally came to this site because of my other problem.... exclusive pedophilia. i have received a lot of help for that problem and i am hoping to get the same out of this subforum

the hallucinations started back somewhere near the beginning of summer this year, and at first i payed them little to no mind whatsoever, just because i didn't want to concentrate on something that seemed so les important when i was dealing with my other problem here.

the first of thse hallucinations that i can remember having, im sure there are earlier ones, but this is the one i can remember, was being on this site and seeing one of the profile pictures morph into other things before my eyes. Since then, the hallucinations have been getting more and more common and more involved as well. Like teh other day in school, i was sitting in my math class and i heard a feminine voice say into my ear to look at my hand, and when i did, my hand looked disgusting and rotten, full of holes and spots all over it. i was freaked out a lot, but tried to maintain a level of calmness, so i didnt try to show i was freaked out to the rest of the class. this hallucination lasted for about a minute before it finally ended.

it has now gotten to the point that i can't go a single day without having some combination of audio and visual hallucinations of some sort. i have made it a habit to constantly listen to music whenever possible in an attempt to sort of tune out the audio hallucinations, if it makes any difference at all.

lately i have just been isolating myself a lot more than i usually do and i have this notion that everyone is staring at me when i am walking around places, like all eyes are on me.

the one i had today was an auditory one, and was basically me hearing a loud mumbling voice in my left ear, even though i am the only one home right now... all the rest of my family are out trick or treating......

they all look and sound so real, its sometimes hard to differientiate them from reality

i know this post is probably pretty vague, but thanks for reading anyway,

any help is appreciated.

inf

Edited November 1, 2011 by inferiority

[eppursimuove]

im quite sure coz i have a mom with Schizophrenia, that u wount know there alucinations unless someone tolds u they are even so if u got Schizophrenia and they tell ur alucinating u wont belive that either so im sure u wont know its and alucination, My mother used to make us stand up in the chairs coz planes where going to pass below us. So u proably have a good imagination at ur age, or maybe u feel loleny. I dont know.

[inferiority]

i have been getting the same amount of sleep i have been getting for a while now, nothing much has changed in sleep patterns in a long while.

stress has actually been getting a bit better now that i have someone to confide myself to in the school setting.

i havent looked up symptoms of anything, i dont really want to worry myself about specifics.

i have mentioned it to the school psychologist, and she hasnt' really brought it up again much unless i mention it first.... pretty sure its well out of her field of help, but she tries......

its alright pseud, you don't have to be sorry

[kai]

im quite sure coz i have a mom with Schizophrenia, that u wount know there alucinations unless someone tolds u they are even so if u got Schizophrenia and they tell ur alucinating u wont belive that either so im sure u wont know its and alucination, My mother used to make us stand up in the chairs coz planes where going to pass below us. So u proably have a good imagination at ur age, or maybe u feel loleny. I dont know.

Depends on the person, your mother experienced what a lot of people experience, however that doesn't mean it's universal.

My hallucinations started before most of my other symptoms presented, and I had a firm enough grasp on reality at the time to be able to understand that the more dramatic ones weren't real. It feels very real, and for a while in the beginning it's usually hard to convince yourself it isn't, but not everyone with schizophrenia is unaware that what they're seeing is a hallucination.

When I was your age I had a lot of people tell me about my "vivid imagination", which was pretty invalidating at the time considering the huge gap between an active imagination as a teenager and visual/auditory hallucinations. I think age has a lot to do with it.

Pay attention to anything else that happens along these lines, write it down if you have to.

You're right to think this is over the school psychologist's head. While they are qualified, they usually have almost no experience with this sort of thing.

I'd look into finding a therapist with experience with this sort of thing, or talking about it to someone who knows you better.

Best of luck!

[Regal]

If you are on any sort of medications, that might be affecting, but if not, you may be schizophrenic.