is this a symptom of pocd?

[roachmon95]

hey there.

so recently while masterbating, i find myself allowing intrusive thoughts i get into my mind. I ussually go with it for a little while, and then i switch back to normal fantasys and compare the level of arousal. is this a normal symptom of pocd? i cant really distinguish a different amount of arousal for either one. if you are wondering, the intrusive thoughts im reffering too are pedophilic thoughts. ever since my therapist told me that pedophiles feel an urge to masterbate to pedophelic fantasys, i have had the thoughts(cause im constantly worrying about being a pedo). they often interfere with my normal fantasys. im kind of shocked that i cant differentiate an amount arousal and it kind of worrys me. i should probably also note that the "pedophilic" thoughts are not with girls that are pre pubescent, rather girls that are in the earlier stages of puberty(13 and on).

[Guest ASchwartz]

Roachmon95,

I want to ask you about your choice of username? Does roachmon mean that you are a regular marijuana user? I have a reason for asking. Pot is hallucinogenic (spelling?) and can therefore impact on your thoughts and fantasies.

Aside from that, do you have a girlfriend and do you have sex with women?

If you are not already in therapy I suggest you get help for yourself. We have no way of knowing if you have pedophile tendencies or not. Clearly, this is worrying you a very great deal. I did not get to read all of your other posts so, please be patient with me if you already answered this: were you molested when you were a child and do you know if anyone in your family struggled with the same fears as you?

Allan

[roachmon95]

no I do not use marijuana on a regular basis. im in therapy, but all my therapist ever says is too try and get a girlfriend and get a job. he's told me on a number of occasions that he doesnt think im a pedophile, but i still doubt. i should probably note that I just turned16 about a month in a half ago and im still a virgin. i have no memory of being molested as a young child, but Ive read that your mind can suppress past memorys. i seem to show some of the symptoms of somebody who has been molested but doesnt know, but i honestly dont have any memory of anything. i have had obbsessions like this before. i remeber i had a sexual relationship with a boy my age about a year and a half ago, and after that happened i was worried that i might be gay. it never bothered me to this extent (maybe because being gay is more socially acceptable?) i really dont know though. im just confused and worried like crazy.