Domestic Violence?

[bleakandblue]

I posted about this a little bit in my intro thread and a few of you pointed out that the way my wife acts towards me might constitute domestic violence. One of you pointed me towards some articles to read on the matter.

I'm not sure what to do with this. I can see that her behavior gets out of hand, but it seems wrong to call her abusive. It does worry me, but it's not like I can't defend myself. I would never hit her back, though. I try not to engage her in fights, but she seems to seek them out anyway. I don't like that the kids see it. I don't know what to do.

[Jenna520]

Whether it be a man hitting a woman or a woman hitting a man, it's domestic violence and it's not healthy for your children to watch. They, too, will grow up thinking it's okay to vent your emotions in a physical manner. One thing you've got to understand is just because she's a woman and you're a man doesn't make it okay to hit you. It's not okay to hit anyone. If she cannot control her anger enough to verbalize her feelings, what's she going to do when she get's really angry with the kids?

I hate that you are having to deal with this. It's really hard to be hit on, no matter if you're male or female. The physical wounds will heal but what she's doing to you on the inside may be left to bleed unknowingly. I would really put my foot down to her, and if she refuses to stop putting her hands on you, carry through with legal action. A simple slap will fall under fourth degree assault, in most cases, that results in an arrest and anger management classes ordered by the judge. If she hits you with something, it could be considered assault with a weapon, or a greater degree of assault, which has more serious consequences.

What is most important is that you stand your ground and think about what is healthy for you and your children. I wish you the best.

[Jenna520]

Just to clarify what I meant by "standing your ground"..... Give her clear instructions of the actions that you will take if she continues to hit you- for example: arrest, domestic violence order, leaving, etc. I hope no one thought I meant to slap her back. I just caught the vagueness in my response to your problem and wanted to state it clearer. Having been a victim of domestic violence myself, I'd never condone such actions.

[bleakandblue]

I didn't think your first post was unclear. I would never and have never hit her back. But I'm not so good with standing my ground. Any time I try, it only seems to make things worse. I don't know if I could call the police on her. I'm afraid of what might happen. She could easily say that I was the one at fault and it would be me in trouble in the end, and I wouldn't put it past her to do that. If we were to split up, I don't know that I would get custody of the kids and I don't know how much I'd get to see them. I'm trying to hold on to the idea that things aren't that bad a lot of the time, but we got into it again last night and I'm still very frustrated at the moment. I'm not sure there is anything I can do that won't make things worse.