Blondieanddagwood Posted January 29, 2012 Report Share Posted January 29, 2012 Just a quick question. I have posted on here before with regards to my 28 yr old son.I bought him medication the other day after a friend convinced him to go to the doctors. My son has once again been evicted and looking for cash. I have told my son I cannot do it anymore. I have been financially and emotionally supporting him for ten years. His father died 2.5 years go of cancer. My son refuses to seek professional help. He asked for a referral to a psyche clinic but I can guarantee he wont go. Is there a point when you have to just walk away? I am 47 and I am still grieving the loss of his father. I am in a new relationship but my sons mental health is slowly destroying that. Am I horrible mother for saying.... enough is enough?Me kuanpbvwb and whebtethy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iwantkandee Posted February 8, 2012 Report Share Posted February 8, 2012 As a bi polar child myself, I can say how much it hurt when my parents walked away. I understand now that they were not able to cope, but it doesn't make it not hurt. However, I did not know I was bi polar and was never offered help. I was left to figure it out on my own and I am hated by my parents to this very day.As a mom of bi polar children, I know you can only do so much. Even though you wish you could do more and feel guilty because you can't doesn't make you an awful mother or person. I would suggest limiting your involvement rather than walking completely away. You will be of no help to your son or yourself if you don't take breaks to refill yourself. I think you might regret cutting all ties. Creating limits might work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocket Posted February 9, 2012 Report Share Posted February 9, 2012 This is such an important question -- how to move back enough to allow a relationship some space so that you don't smother yourself or your loved one, rather than simply retreating and withdrawing. Sometimes you have to reatreat/withdraw for a while because of the intensity of your emotions. But that does not have to be permanent. I tend to withdraw violently in a way that must feel like abandonment to my daughter, only because I don't heed the signs and back up when I should. I am working on this and it helps to know that others are too. Backing away does not mean you cannot say "I am backing away because I need to take some time to reflect and to give you some time to reflect too." I have always and will always love you, but things need to change. I want you to take care of yourself and do what is necessary for you to do so that you can have a satisfying life and I also wish to live a satisfying life as well, and I want our relationship to improve and grow but that can only happen if each of us take care of ourselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NormKeegel Posted August 11, 2012 Report Share Posted August 11, 2012 As others have suggested, is there some way you can have limited contact with him? A friend of mine has a daughter who has chosen to live on the streets and use drugs. My friend has told her that she can visit any Wed night and have a shower and a good meal. It's keeping the door open to her without dominating my friend's life with her daughter's problems 24/7. Is there something like that you can offer, short of cutting him out of your life completely? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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