Heating up

[Willpower]

I don't know if this is really a 'relevant' or 'worthwhile' thread but I felt like posting something. Things have been so good for me, and interesting, and just progressively getting better. My network of friends has gone from 1 distant friend to about a dozen extremely close friends. They're people I can talk to, hug, play with, and go places with.

There are multiple girls (romantic interests) vying for my next weekend. I'm noticing the subtleties to all these different people and how to treat them how they want to be treated.

I'm looking and feeling better than ever. People treat me differently, I get more positive comments, and more than anything people, especially girls, are paying me a lot more attention than before.

I'm not overwhelmed with the amount of stuff I'm doing but it's getting close and a I have to make a lot of hard choices about what I want to do. Also, my sleep has suffered a little bit, and frankly it gets harder to maintain my eating right (although I'm not gaining weight, thankfully, I've just been losing a little less).

It's just all a little like spinning dinner plates on sticks. I'm not especially stressed yet but it's catching up occasionally.

But overall, I wouldn't trade any of this for any piece of what my life was like before.

The big pieces of advice are once again,

#1. Even if you literally have zero hope at all. You KNOW your life will only be shit and end horribly, you will probably wake up one day like I did with a faint glimmer of hope and from that point you have to fight as hard as you can to stoke that fire into a raging flame. Basically, once you have ANY control, seize that. Do everything you can from that day onward, it will serve you well. Never give up. I have those words written on my wall since day 1 of my change.

#2. It takes time, even after you've changed. I didn't go from no hope at all to complete hope. I still had a ton of doubts. I doubted I could actually lose weight, I doubted I'd ever date a girl, hold a girl's hand, kiss a girl. I 'failed' over and over. I had small successes that seemed insignificant. Yet, I kept fighting literally every single day. There wasn't a single day I let myself 'fall'.

Anyways, Not that it should be a goal in and of itself but just losing my virginity may be a week away at any moment. An extremely attractive girl said she would have sex with me. I'm not even worried about that one bit anymore, I'm more worried about not hurting the feelings of any of the other girls I've been dating or expressed interest in.

[Willpower]

And I lost my virginity. I will make a long written statement on some forum here with all sorts of pre- and post thoughts.