devils daughter Posted March 22, 2012 Report Share Posted March 22, 2012 There is a friend from my support group who was laid off from her employer because of the bad economy. She had gotten the job originally about 10 years earlier because the daughter-in-law of the employer told her about the job and recommended her.My friend knew some things that weren’t so good about the company and, in an attempt to get work at another company, volunteered this information. When she told us about it at the support group it was clear that she was just trying to get something for herself, but I wondered at the time “My God, don’t you see that they’ll not trust you at the new company if you are volunteering information about the old one?” Anyway, she did not get the new job.Several months ago my friend told us that the friend that had gotten her the old job with her father-in-law was not returning her phone calls. She talked to a mutual friend to see if that person knew what was going on. The mutual friend called back and said that the … let’s call her Daughter-In-Law . . . said that she had heard what my support group friend had told the other company and that she didn’t appreciate it. She felt that my friend was stabbing her in the back, trying to take food off her children’s plates.My friend was upset because she didn’t believe that she had done what she had, in fact, done. That of course was not her intention – she was thinking only of herself – but it was the effect.So, OK, it’s not our job in the support group to give feedback about that kind of stuff. So I didn’t.Now it gets kind of sticky. Karma, maybe, has intervened in a way. In addition to helping my friend get the job, the Daughter-In-Law helped her find a car many years ago. It was still working well, but my friend was in an accident and the car was totaled. My friend is very distressed about finding another one. She asked me to help her find one on the internet, which is what the Daughter-In-Law had done years ago. I know nothing about finding cars on the internet. I’m willing to help my friend to do it but I definitely do not want that “responsibility”.Also, I’m wondering if the best thing that I could do for my friend, if she talks about the Daughter-In-Law again, would be to tell her that she told the support group that she had in fact done what the Daughter-In-Law said that she did. Again, she didn’t intend harm but that was the effect.I’m not experienced with interpersonal relationships so I would appreciate any advice or input. I don’t want my friend to feel uncomfortable about coming back to the support group. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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