goobertron Posted April 9, 2012 Report Share Posted April 9, 2012 Hi all, As the title suggests I am suffering more and more from intrusive thoughts and it has got to the stage where they are completely dominating my live, to the extent where I don't know what are my genuine thoughts or intrusive ones. It also is leaving me with a feeling that I am developing a mild form of schizophenia. I feel as if I have a constant internal battle going on with 2 different sides of me. The biggest reason for posting this is that I feel I have let my girlfriend down in a big way. She has been fantastic to me and yet part of me lets her down constantly. Perhaps I am actually not letting her down but I will try and put my thoughts down and leave it for others to judge and advise. When I am around other females, some of whom I barely know, whether it be in a workplace situation or a social situation I feel like being nice to them and sociable and wanting to be physically close to them, i.e standing next to them or at least be near them. Why the hell would I want to do that when I am in a relationship with a fantastic girl. Am I developing into some form of sex pest in years to come, or am I going to be a serial cheater. Whatever the case I feel absolutely awful because the disciplined/normal part of my head is completely appalled at the lack of respect I appear to be showing my girlfriend and it is leaving me with strong feelings of guilt. I haven't at any point cheated on my gf and I don't think I ever would. I know I have only typed think there but I have so many strong doubts about a lot of things I don't know what to think. My head is in a mess and part of me is thinking about breaking up with my gf to try and give my head time to settle. I am constantly battling intrusive thoughts as well as "catastrophising" and this is leaving me emotionally drained. I would love to talk to my gf about these thoughts etc but I fear they would cause more distress. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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