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Confused and Scared


Lea8948

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I guess I should start by saying that I am in a relationship with an alcoholic and have been for almost a year now. I myself have issues with depression which tends to get exacerbated by my boyfriend's drinking problem. I happen to be moving back to my home town in just a couple of months and my boyfriend wants to move with me. I'm really not sure what to do. While I care about my boyfriend, I also need to worry about my own well being. It may seem selfish but I kinda see moving back home to be my way out of this unhealthy relationship. But I'm worried about my boyfriend and how he is going to handle me wanting to end things. I'm scared to tell him that I don't want him to move with me because I know that his drinking will get out of control again. As the time for me to move gets closer I keep getting more and more anxious because he wants to make plans to move with me and I'm scared to death to tell him that I don't want that. I should also mention that I have fears of being alone also. I don't have many friends where I'm living now, and I'm so scared that once I tell him that I'll be completely alone for the remainder of my time here. I guess that is why I've let this relationship go on for so long despite the problems we've had, because I hate being alone and it tends to make me extremely depressed. I'm just so confused and anxious and I can't take it anymore. If anyone has any advice or constructive criticism please reply.

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Hello Lea, it sounds like you have quite a problem. Relationships can be difficult, especially if you're not sure in your relationship with yourself. You really need to examine the "whys" of your situation. Why are you so scared to tell your bf? Has he ever hit you? Do you think his reaction will be violent? Why are you afraid to be alone? How long would you have to be alone before moving? Do you at least have some support (even if it is long distance)?

This is a good start to making a decision. Knowing why we fear something allow us to begin letting go of that fear. Unfortunately no one can tell you how to feel or what to think or what to do with your life.

"Those who really want something will find a way. Those who do not will find an excuse." (Confusious)

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