please help diagnose me

[clt55555]

Where do I start? I'm suffering major depression, but I would love it if someone could help me pin-point my exact disorder, therefore I can work towards fixing myself.

My mind is always blocked, I can't think straight, there's always something unsettled in my mind. I'm constantly organising myself, the basics, things I need to do, such as organise my cash, or appointments or any other things I need to do or organise. I cannot just relax and have my mind completely free of these thoughts.

As a result of my mind being block, I feel I can't "think outside the square", or think straight at all. I struggle to organise myself but that's about all my mind is capable of these days. I consider myself a fairly intelligent and analytical person. When I was 16 (I'm now 24), I used to be very out-going and had a clear head and was very quick-witted and social. These days I'm the complete opposite.

I can't think clearly enough to be witty, I struggle to get the basics covered. As a result of this problem, I've been less social. As a result of this I've felt down on myself, and extremely insecure, and it's been like this for a number of years now. In the last few years I've tried 2 different anti-depressants and as of about a month ago I'm on anti-psychotics, in hope that my head will become completely clear, I'll be completely confident, and completely happy again.

I've tried really hard to have a positive-look on life, with help from friends and psychologists, but my messy mind strikes me back down to my depressed, insecure self every time. These days I have a very supportive girlfriend which is awesome, and my mum helps me heaps too. I seem to have come to terms with my mental illness, as I've realised and understood it a bit more, but as I've learnt more about it, it has become a lot more exposed.

It hurts to exist, and I want to commit suicide, but I won't for my mum and gf. I feel angry, irritable and impatient, and will often burst into anger and depression. I'm generally a nice guy, so I'll also feel bad for putting this onto my mum and gf.

These anti-psychotics haven't helped me at all, although my mum and gf seem to think they've helped a bit. If anyone could help me diagnose my problem that'd be great. If there's anything I've missed I'll add it later, and if you have any questions feel free to ask.

Thanks...

[clt55555]

Thanks for all the replies... I won't be back. Bye.

Edited December 9, 2008 by clt55555

[paula]

Hi clt55555

Where do I start? I'm suffering major depression, but I would love it if someone could help me pin-point my exact disorder, therefore I can work towards fixing myself.

I'm sorry to disappoint you but, this site offers support and guidance and cannot pin point your exact disorder. Only a qualified practioneer can do that.

I can't think clearly enough to be witty, I struggle to get the basics covered. As a result of this problem, I've been less social. As a result of this I've felt down on myself, and extremely insecure, and it's been like this for a number of years now. In the last few years I've tried 2 different anti-depressants and as of about a month ago I'm on anti-psychotics, in hope that my head will become completely clear, I'll be completely confident, and completely happy again.

I can relate to you regarding your social phobia, I am just the same. By the way I too suffer from Manic Depression (Bi-polar Disorder) among other things. You have to learn how to handle your Depression... Yes, Depression is a Mental illness but it doesn't stop you from carrying on with your life, as I've learnt (the hard way)!

Could you not find yourself a hobby or something, join a mental health group like Mind or something? What about going to a drop in centre or volunteering somewhere, of your choice? Just a suggestion to help you cope with the illness till you get back on your feet? What about looking up your illness and the expectations of the effects that this could/will have on your daily living? You also mention the Anti-depressants that your on. Only Two in the last Two Years, your lucky!

I know how your feeling but you've got to fight it! Believe me, your feel better in the long run

Hope this helps.

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Clt55555:

Paula is quite correct. We cannot diagnose you or anyone but we can offer support. From what you write you are taking medications. Are you also seeing a psychotherapist. The psychotherapy is just as important as the medication and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can help make a huge difference in helping you feel better.

Allan