Desperate friend situation

[Ob1one]

There's a kid in school who became my friend. We're all buddy buddy now and things are fine, but one day in Biology class I heard a different side of him. As I say him, he was a great guy... a little wimpy(not trying to put him down but it plays into the story) but really really nice. In Biology I figured out that some kids through about three peices of paper at his hair and he spat in their face, ran to the office, and got them kicked out of study hall.

That's an overreacting reason, but there is a reason. Now, in this instance there was no reason, one of his friends, a really nice guy came over to his house. Same instance but no trigger, he spat in his face but didn't go to the main office because they weren't in school.

One more or less disturbing, he started a fight and said he'd call the cops on the guy even though my friend started it. Another instance, Something happened when he and another guy were out in public. Will told the police that the guy beat him up.

What on earth should I do about this, for all I know I'm next. The instances are basically the same and the last part to each one is that he doesn't come to school the next day.

I'm not worried about getting kicked into study but still it may go on my record for getting in trouble for doing nothing.

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Part 2

His father is on life support and I kinda leaked to someone who hates him to death. The story behind this is when I heard this I asked whether his father was mentioned in any of these instances. I wanted to know why he flipped on his own friends to figure out if he could be helped. This guy said he hates him enough to use that against him which would devastate him and he's my friend.

Now I made him promise not to tell a soul about his dad and he said okay though I don't know how strong the word of another teenage boy is. I'm hoping he will keep it to himself maybe even forget about it later on but I'm worried to death that he'll hit my friend with it. He may be a sleazy rat but at the same time messing with your father who is on life support is the worst thing I could think of to do to a kid.

I'm also a little worried that if he gets in trouble for it he'll bring me into this even though my intentions were good for my friend. I've learned a lesson that you don't want to tell anyone anything nearly personal, especially in school.

In a nut shell, what should I do about my friend. I'm afraid if I just dump him then he'll go off. I'm afraid that the other guy will break his word. I'm afraid that this will rebound on me. I'm worried that my friend will randomly turn on me.

What should I do about this. If the only way to make things right is to go to the consular I may think about it but at the same time he's still my friend at heart and I do still like him so I don't truly want to do anything like that to him.

Any advice I would appretiate.

[kaudio]

Hi ob1one, after reading your post I am reminded of how seemingly complicated things were for myself in my social life. But, gathering from your post, you have a rather definite goal in mind, and a course of action you are not sure you should commit to; the former being a desire to help your friend who is dealing with serious personal challenges, and the latter is your uncertainty as to whether you should raise the subject with the counselor.

For what it is worth, I agree with your course of action. Simply share with the counselor the facts as you know them, namely that your friend has shared with you that his father is on life support, and that you are worried for him because of his behaviour and mood changes. See if the counselor can give your friend some specialized help from others with experience in these sorts of life crisis situations. That said though, you can only help him to the extent that you are able to by being a friend, listening to his concerns, and being patient with him as he addresses his problems. Certainly, being a friend is not a silver bullet to all of life's problems, but simply making yourself available for any sort of conversation is enough to take his mind off troubling matters for a moment.

Remind him he still has school work to attend to! Being a friend can be thankless in this sense.

[paula]

If I was you then I 'd tell your friend exactly what you've done? Just have a word with your friend & explain that you was having a conversation with your other friend and you let slip that he's father is on life support.

Appologise, and tell him that you are telling him this as you have felt bad since you said it. Also, you think that this other friend could use it against your friend and also yourself, and you think to highly of him to sit back and do nothing?

I think he will respect you more, if you tell him yourself before he finds out of someone else? We all make mistakes!