Is it wrong...?

[AufSefreah]

This guy I like says it's wrong that I like to hurt my privates. He says it's a byproduct of abuse, but truthfully I find it horribly arousing. I first discovered I enjoyed it when I was around 10. I would open a book, put my penis between the pages and slam it shut. Sometimes when I'm bored in class I think of creative ways to hurt myself, it's kind of fun.

But now he's told all my other friends some of the things that I do, and now they're telling me what I'm doing is wrong. Can it be wrong if I like it?

[kaudio]

Welcome to the community, AufSefreah. I will not say this activity is wrong, but I know for certain there are health issues that must be addressed. I am not sure of your circumstances, but if these creative ways to hurt yourself results in injuries try to keep any small cuts clean with a simple anti-septic. If you have any serious injuries do not hesitate to go to the hospital or see your doctor. Should your self-harm be such that it interferes with the rest of your daily activities, then you need to consider some alternatives: modifying your self-harm so that your body can cope and heal, or stop harming your privates altogether.

Could you share a little more about yourself? Perhaps what prompted you to start this self-harm?

Edited December 14, 2008 by kaudio

[AufSefreah]

I'm not sure where to begin if you want an accurate look at my background.

If you're asking in reference to the phrase 'byproduct of abuse' ...I don't know if it's completely proper to say, but I suppose this is a message board where you expect to read this sort of thing.

I was sexually abused by my father. I was taught privately to masturbate roughly, told to say and ask for things I didn't understand, tormented in sensitive areas, and encouraged to feel disgusted and ashamed afterward. Admittedly, he would hurt my genitals but I don't do the things he did. I've created different ways, my own.

I don't know if that affected me sexually because the spirit behind it was totally different. The only questionable development I have is a slight problem with urinating in my pants if I'm jolted emotionally, and sometimes in my bed if I am having a particularly stressful week. (It's extremely humiliating and juvenile. Please don't make fun of me for it.)

I've tried to be gentle with myself but it doesn't stimulate me. I haven't hurt anyone else so I can't see what the drama is all about.

[kaudio]

I am sorry if you felt uncomfortable sharing these details of yourself. To clarify though, I am not saying that hurting your privates for pleasure is wrong, but that you need to take particular care of your privates so you do not seriously injure yourself. Simply by way of TV documentaries, one can learn that there are many people who participate in similar activities, yet they exercise a great deal of care in their conduct. The participants maintain a clean environment, are familiar with first aid, and do not take the well-being of their colleagues lightly. So, I strongly suggest that if you choose to continue these sorts of activities, that you also share in their concern for your own health. While you did not go into any particular detail of your own fantasies, ultimately my point is this: sexual pleasure is fine, but there is a limit to how far your body is able to go.

Your friends were likely a little alarmed when they learned of your self-harm, but they are concerned for your well being. You may have to be patient with them, and give their words the credence they deserve. They are familiar with your circumstances, and they know you a little more intimately from in-person interaction.

As for your experience with your father, that must have been difficult – to say the least. Have you ever spoken to a counselor or a therapist regarding the sexual abuse you suffered?