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Angry at everyone except for abusers


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I shouldn't say everyone. I mean to say, people who remind me of my abuser.

I guess I should describe the abuse to provide some context...

My brother started when I was in grade 3 by calling me stupid, dumb, and told me to go away whenever I saw him at school. He humiliated me in front of my friends and his friends. He contributed GREATLY to my OCD, he made fun of my Tourette, and tried shutting me up whenever we were in public. He told me to only focus on the negative aspects of my accomplishments, because if I focus too much on the positive aspects of the things I've done, I'll get cocky and prideful. Sometimes we fought, and it got really physical. The last time we fought, I tried choking him.

I remember one fight we had. I told my brother when I was in grade 7 that I wanted to be a pilot. He said I can't because I have Tourettes which is a complete lie. We ended up arguing, and in the end I threw a pillow at him. It missed and hit his laptop. He went berserk.

But, you know, I forgive my brother. It's the people who remind me of him that make me angry. Why is that?

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