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Starting to falter...


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Hi. My name is Grace and I'm new to this site...

I guess I just felt like seeking a depression forum because I can feel myself slipping...

I lost my job a month ago and the stress from failing to find new employment started to kick up lots of anxiety... which led to me being neurotic... which led to relationship problems with my boyfriend...

For the past two weeks or so it has been increasingly hard to get out of bed... even when I do it takes a ton of effort not to lay back down.

I don't feel comfortable in my own skin.

Last night I had a bit of a breakdown at a party because my boyfriend was ignoring me ( I know this is an overreaction). I sat in a chair and had to write to myself to try to control my sadness... eventually I gave up because in reality no one in the room noticed me silently crying... as long as I didn't hunch over in sorrow

I hate that I'm going down this spiral for the third time in 4 years... I don't want to talk about it too much for fear I'll give it steam... I also don't want to ignore it because in all likelyhood I'll loose control within a couple of months

I don't have insurance. I really hate percription medication... Anyone care to share some wisdom?

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am so sorry of what's goin on there ...

I really understand this sadness and i have worse sadness than yours ..

i just tell ya one thing .. HOLD ON TO YOUR SELF

and don't let sadness and depression takes from your self ..

get busy .. get a job .. get your bf back if you think he helps ..

am not a shrink am just a sad man .. tryin to help a sad girl ...

i wish i can make you smile with this fake smile :o

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Guest ASchwartz

I want to welcome both Grace and Sick and Tired to our support community.

Grace, you report that you have had cycles of depression for three or four years. Can you tell us more about your self and what has caused your depression in the past? Also, are you in psychotherapy and do you take medication for depression?

Dear Sick and Tired, We would like to hear more about you, as well. You seem to know what depression is like. Why are you sick and tired and what do you do to help your self?

Allan :)

A smile face to let both of you know that we are glad to have you here.

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When you're feeling low and pressured, sometimes a good thing to do is to make a list of the things that you think will help you feel better, then prioritize that list so that the most important things are at the top, and then start going down the list and getting those things done as best you can. You suggest that you've been through depressions before, so maybe you have some idea of what has helped you to come out of them in the past. Different things work for different people, but a reasonable list of the treatment possibilities is given in our depression topic center and there are plenty that don't involve medications.

You mentioned that you knew you were overreacting to your boyfriend (whatever it was he did). While focusing on how bad you feel isn't a good thing to do, focusing on ways that you characteristically do tend to overreact (so that you can see them when they happen and become more aware and correct them) can be something that helps depression feelings to stay in control. The therapy that is based on this approach is called Cognitive Therapy, and Cognitive Therapy for Depression might be something to look into, whether face to face with a therapist, or in book form. "Feeling Good" is the classic cognitive therapy workbook for depression but there are many others out there today and they don't cost much. Might even find something useful in the library for free.

Anyway - I hope you are feeling better soon.


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Sick&Tired you did make me smile. Thanks for the sunshine.

To: Admin ASchwartz

um... I guess it first started my softmore year when I was 15... At the time there was a lot of friction going on at home, a lot of anxiety due to a suicidal boyfriend, struggles with self-mutilation... so I guess basically situational but it was my first experience with adult pressures and I got burried... eventually got to a managable state with therapy and prozac

By my senior year I was off meds and doing alright. Right before I went to college, to insure I wouldn't have any problems, I was prescribed a low dose of Lexapro.

When in school, I stopped the meds abruptly (without dosing down = retarded) because I felt bad for taking them. By homecoming I was curled up on the floor crying while everyone else was having fun. Things spiralled out until I was afraid to speaking to anyone, crying at work, doing poorly in classes, and completely alone. I didn't even have enough energy to walk to my dorm... I ended up hospitalized and dropped out of school... they put me on 200mg of Lamictal, 600mg of Neurotin, and some small amount of Abilify.

First, I took myself off of the Abilify because I didn't need an anti-psychotic in the first place... then 4 or 5 months later the Neurotin because it was making me brain dead... then finally in August the Lamictal because it caused acne... and I had been doing better for six months... (all of which I dosed down)

So here I am now and I can't even afford groceries let alone perscription medication (which I hate taking anyway)... Therapy would be nice though

Sorry that was so long winded!

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