inferiority

i have been getting the same amount of sleep i have been getting for a while now, nothing much has changed in sleep patterns in a long while. stress has actually been getting a bit better now that i have someone to confide myself to in the school setting. i havent looked up symptoms of anything, i dont really want to worry myself about specifics. i have mentioned it to the school psychologist, and she hasnt' really brought it up again much unless i mention it first.... pretty sure its well out of her field of help, but she tries...... its alright pseud, you don't have to be sorry

hello everyone, i have been a member of this site for a few months now, but i have come to a point where, in addition to my other problem, i can no longer put off the fact that i have been experiencing really bizarre, and at times scary hallucinations, both visual and auditory. a little more about me is that i am an american 16 year old boy who originally came to this site because of my other problem.... exclusive pedophilia. i have received a lot of help for that problem and i am hoping to get the same out of this subforum the hallucinations started back somewhere near the beginning of summer this year, and at first i payed them little to no mind whatsoever, just because i didn't want to concentrate on something that seemed so les important when i was dealing with my other problem here. the first of thse hallucinations that i can remember having, im sure there are earlier ones, but this is the one i can remember, was being on this site and seeing one of the profile pictures morph into other things before my eyes. Since then, the hallucinations have been getting more and more common and more involved as well. Like teh other day in school, i was sitting in my math class and i heard a feminine voice say into my ear to look at my hand, and when i did, my hand looked disgusting and rotten, full of holes and spots all over it. i was freaked out a lot, but tried to maintain a level of calmness, so i didnt try to show i was freaked out to the rest of the class. this hallucination lasted for about a minute before it finally ended. it has now gotten to the point that i can't go a single day without having some combination of audio and visual hallucinations of some sort. i have made it a habit to constantly listen to music whenever possible in an attempt to sort of tune out the audio hallucinations, if it makes any difference at all. lately i have just been isolating myself a lot more than i usually do and i have this notion that everyone is staring at me when i am walking around places, like all eyes are on me. the one i had today was an auditory one, and was basically me hearing a loud mumbling voice in my left ear, even though i am the only one home right now... all the rest of my family are out trick or treating...... they all look and sound so real, its sometimes hard to differientiate them from reality i know this post is probably pretty vague, but thanks for reading anyway, any help is appreciated. inf

hey im not logging into anything again today, cya all l8r.

thanks pseud

i wouldn't feel comfortable sharing everything, but a lot of it has been suicidal related thoughts

i cant focus on anything at all, its worse than before because i could still actually work around that, concentrating enough allowed me to get things done. i can't focus on anything. my mind is wondering so badly onto things i would rather not be thinking about. i have really no control over any of it. the things i have been thinking about are sickening me to no end, its terrible. i can't even remember anything i was supposed to be doing right now........

or whatever that thing inside of my brain is. enough said.

just a heads up , im not signing into anything today, so don't worry if im not on.

i was thinking and well... i realize that well... i can't understand the whole concept of love at all. i get the dictionary definition, but what it really is i have no idea. this emotion in me is messed up i guess since i really don't think i feel it at all. i don't think that what i used to call love is really love. not sure what it counts as, but its not love. yet another thing i'm going to have to try to work out.........

they probably didn't report it because i told them to talk with me before doing anything drastic, i just wish they'd get back with me faster, cuz things are not getting any better.

i dont know, but i guess they just have their hands full right now. theres so many kids at the school they must have a lot on their minds.

no, they dont know. i guess she had a bad dayat work and wants us all to suffer.

today could not possibly be worse... school was alright i guess, but i come home and..... my room is in utter disarray because my mother doesn't know how to channel her anger well at all. she just won't stop yelling at anyone who comes anywhere near her................................ putting on a happy face hiding all the pain existing in the empty space bullet in the brain.

thanks sue. school is really well... awkward at this moment

hey every1, just checking back in, letting everyone know nothing drastic has happened today. same old same old.