NormKeegel

Do you know that often these meds take a while to work. How long have you been taking the lithium in particular? If it's less than a month I'd be patient. If more you need to report that to your doc and maybe other meds could be found that work for you. In cases where lithium works it helps to moderate depression and mania. Not to eliminate them completely, but to make them less severe.

Sorry to hear about your problems, MedinaDad. I've had bipolar for several years and luckily it's pretty well controlled by meds. Sounds like you're in the middle of a mania (spending, getting angry easily). how long has that been happening? Has your doc explained that meds for bipolar often take a while to work. And you may need to try a few combinations before you find a cocktail that works. so please don't give up on meds too soon! Also, there are some non-med things which may help you. For instance, anger management classes. And seeing an individual therapist/counselor to work through what's going on with you and how you can deal with them.

I think you need to decide if you're in this (life) for the long haul. If you are, perhaps you can recruit 5 people to help you with your projects. Or just do a few of them and get some sleep so that you can keep going...

I'm puzzled as to why you're in the "relationship" given that you don't like him. Have you told him that? How does he respond?

From your first post it seems that your biggest problem is loss of libido. Have you talked to your doctor about whether this is caused by medication? You say you have tapered off all meds. Does that mean you now take none or you're still reducing them? Does your doc know you're doing that? If some med caused you to lose interest in sex, it may take some time for the interest to return after you stop taking the med. A major symptom of depression is loss of interest in things that you enjoyed before. So it may be that you need a med that will get you out of depression without the side effect of losing your libido. Others here have suggested that. You might like to think about sharing with your botfriend what's going on with you. Otherwise he may think that he's doing something wrong. If he's supportive you may find a way to get through this together!

I agree with Lana73. It's time to look forward and go on with your life. From what you said, your behavior will not prevent your being employed by anyone or travelling to the U.S.

Have you considered seeing a relationship counselor? I've found that communication is very important and misunderstandings can screw up everything. Failing that, i think you really need to sit down and talk to each other, not necessarily about what you discovered, but about what's important to each of you.

You said "Honestly I don't know anything I'm good at other than listening to people". Do you realise how rare it is to find a good listener? I think that some people pay a lot of money to see a psychiatrist in order to find somebody who will really listen to them without rushing to give advice or talk about themselves. Perhaps you could practice listening a little more. I'm sure you would be very popular!

Lamictal is often prescribed for people who have bipolar disorder. (It is also used for people who get seizures, but there's no indication that you do.) I have bipolar disorder, and I know that it's very important for me to have a regular sleep schedule i.e. to go to bed about the same time each night and wake up about the same time. If I get less than 6 hours sleep I tend to get manic or vice versa: if I'm manic I sleep less than 6 hours a night. When I'm depressed I often sleep for more than 10 hours. Have you told your therapist and your doc about how much sleep you get? Sometimes i have felt that there's so much i have to do that I can't waste time sleeping. :-) But i have learned the hard way that sleep is very important for me and I now give it high priority.

Definitely, you're welcome to write about your problems. Sometimes I find that putting them down is helpful in itself. Seems to give me some perspective on them. I'm now 73, but long ago I was shy at parties and found it difficult to approach a stranger and begin a conversation. A counselor said something which i found helpful. "Just imagine that the person you're about to approach is shyer than you are." Often that advice has helped me to focus on the other person and be interested in them, forgetting for the moment my own anxieties.

I'm glad to see that things are improving for you. Many men have the impression that their penis is smaller than average. When I read the Kinsey Report many years ago, i measured my penis and compared it with what they said was the average. i was pleasantly surprised. I know you said his worry is thickness, not length. But really, there's so much in lovemaking between a man and woman that does not involve a penis! I think you're on the right track with the things you're doing. The best thing you can do for both of you is to feel good about yourself. I like the idea of counseling and fantasies, not putting any pressure on him to perform. Focusing on touching and kissing. Remember though, in the end it's up to him whether he's willing to feel good about himself and especially his body. give yourself kudos for what you are doing for the realtionship.

Have you checked out http://www.mhcgm.org/default.aspx ?

BGracin, unless you're willing to tell me the answers to some of my questions (or why they don't apply to you), I don't think I can be helpful to you.

However badly we are treated, there is always hope that we can turn things around! Thanks for sharing this video.

I'm glad you didn't let depression stop you posting here. Sometimes just writing down how you feel is helpful. even better if you can talk to somebody. Did you and your ex talk a lot? Do you know that some depressed people are helped by medication? Are you able to get to a doctor to explore that? I agree with LaLa3 that it would be helpful for you to see a counselor. Have you tried to find one? Writing here has already identified that something that you were putting yourself down for is shared by at least two other people - not having learned to drive. Let me share a couple of things with you. I was a virgin until my wedding night, when i was 28. I'm 73 now, and I still can't ride a bicycle. Can you think of some things you're good at? If you really can't, ask people you know. Your ex must have liked some things about you, or she would not have become your girlfriend. Hang in there!