Urge to touch

[Desterswrong]

Ok I'm a 33 yo male and ever since I was 13 I have only been emotionally and sexually attracted to prepubescent girls lately I have found my self not being in control as much as I have learnt to live with these facts I'm finding my frustrations of not being able to touch young girls is starting to show bare I'm mind I hate pedophiles and what they do to children I've tried to change but it's wired in I think maybe I just end it all but i dont like to be beaten 

[LaLa]

Hello and welcome!
I'm glad you reached out and shared your thoughts and emotions here. I hope very much that you'll change your mind about this issue, will find a way to live with yourself without self-hate, and eventually will even find some kind of cure (yes, it's possible in a way, at least to some extent!).

First of all, I suggest you to educate yourself on peadophilia. From your post -

2 hours ago, Desterswrong said:

I hate pedophiles and what they do to children

- it's obvious you have commun prejudices (about the dangerosity of paedophiles) and thus need to learn the truth. There are several good articles about it, for instance:

https://www.cbc.ca/firsthand/m_features/four-misconceptions-about-pedophiles

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-41213657

In some countries, there are psychotherapists who can help a lot with this issue, for instance: https://stopso.org.uk/client-request-help/ 

But even if you cannot find a therapist where you live,  you can still join this on-line community - it could be very helpful to you: https://virped.org (It's also mentioned on the first website).

3 hours ago, Desterswrong said:

I've tried to change

How have you tried to change? I'm asking just because I'm curious, you don't have to reply, of course.

Good luck and keep posting!