AstridTomson98 Posted September 1, 2015 Report Share Posted September 1, 2015 Hi my name is Astrid and I need some help. I've become sucidal, self harmed for the first time in months of being clean... My ED, bulimia, has been kicking my butt again... Basically I'm in a huge relapse from over half a year of progress. I need someone to talk to before my therapy appointment tomorrow. My dad emotionally hurts me and sometimes physically. I need an escape... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted September 1, 2015 Report Share Posted September 1, 2015 Seek treatment, get clean, take ownership https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/TreatmentLocator/faces/quickSearch.jspx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AstridTomson98 Posted September 1, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2015 I know I am. I'm going today to my therapy appointment. I just needed someone to talk to before that. I still don't know how I'm going to make it through the day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted September 1, 2015 Report Share Posted September 1, 2015 There are help lines out there if you google. The link I gave you is the one professionals use. I wish you luck in finding your solution. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ChinaDoll Posted September 1, 2015 Report Share Posted September 1, 2015 Hello Astrid. I'm sorry to hear that. None of us here are practicing professionals (I think) but if you need a friend to talk to then we (or at least I) can listen. Sometimes just being able to talk to someone helps greatly.Welcome to the site. I must confess though, I don't know much about bulimia and such. How are you right now? AstridTomson98 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AstridTomson98 Posted September 1, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2015 I can't use help lines because my phone is shut off at night. My dad likes me to not text or call. I'm not sure the real point since it does nothing. Hi, thank you for welcoming me. If you have any questions on bulimia you can ask me. Currently its 4am and I'm sitting on the couch awake from some nightmares and I was just in a binge. Revently I've been gaining a lot of weight due to my binges since I don't work it off after. :/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ChinaDoll Posted September 1, 2015 Report Share Posted September 1, 2015 You seem to know the problem, the cause of the problem, and what needs to be done about it. So, what has prevented you from dealing with it? AstridTomson98 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AstridTomson98 Posted September 1, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2015 I'm not sure. I just started relapsing in every aspect as my life has gotten more difficult with my parents and school starting. Two months ago I got out of an ED IOP because it wasn't working for me. A few weeks after that everything was fine and better than before. Now I seem to be loosing it. I'm not sure. Hopefully talking to the therapist will help, even if she isn't my regular one since they are on vacation. Still that's in the afternoon and I don't know how I'll deal until then. If I don't go to school my dad just yells at me, trying to make me get a job. I just don't feel up to it.... Sorry I'm just throwing so much information in your face. If you have any questions about me I'll be glad to answer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ChinaDoll Posted September 1, 2015 Report Share Posted September 1, 2015 What are your positive outlets? Any hobbies? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AstridTomson98 Posted September 1, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2015 I do arts and stuff. Currently I'm writing to try and distract myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ChinaDoll Posted September 1, 2015 Report Share Posted September 1, 2015 Does that help relieve the pressure on you? What exactly do you think causes your difficulties? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AstridTomson98 Posted September 1, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2015 A little bit. Sometimes it doesn't. I'm not sure but I know its mainly all from my anxiety and depression. Just been bad recently with family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted September 1, 2015 Report Share Posted September 1, 2015 Welcome, AstridTomson98.I'm sorry you are struggling. What helps to relieve your anxiety? Do you enjoy listening to music? Maybe a walk outside might help once it is daytime there?My daughter is an artist. :-) Do you paint or draw?Feel free to continue expressing yourself if it is helpful. We will listen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AstridTomson98 Posted September 1, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2015 Hi,I do enjoy music but my parents are up now and I think I'm sick so its just annoying me right now, as everything is. I'm trying to find stuff to help but nothing seems to be working as my leg is shaking. O.o I draw mostly as its my favorite medium, but I do paint and such as well. I'm not sure what else to say so that's why I said you can ask me questions if needed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AstridTomson98 Posted September 1, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2015 Hi,I do enjoy music but my parents are up now and I think I'm sick so its just annoying me right now, as everything is. I'm trying to find stuff to help but nothing seems to be working as my leg is shaking. O.o I draw mostly as its my favorite medium, but I do paint and such as well. I'm not sure what else to say so that's why I said you can ask me questions if needed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ChinaDoll Posted September 1, 2015 Report Share Posted September 1, 2015 Would you like to share with us some scenarios maybe that has upset you or the reasons that make you feel depressed? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AstridTomson98 Posted September 1, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2015 Like I said before, but not in full detail, my family, school, and my eating. My family is mostly just my dad being a jerk as people say he emotionally abuses me. He makes me cry sometimes. My school I just got into last week from switching due to anxiety and depression towards the old one. The longer 8 hour days are harder. My eating... I've been binging a lot and such and I get anxious when I eat and don't eat. It's a loose, loose situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ChinaDoll Posted September 1, 2015 Report Share Posted September 1, 2015 I hope this does not sound mean but I am curious. What do you do to get yourself out of depression and others and to cope with everything you're facing other than seeing a therapist? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AstridTomson98 Posted September 1, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2015 Well, of course, you can't just rely on a therapist to make you better; you have to work at it as well. Although I do try to go to a therapist 1-2 a week. Sometimes I will watch TV, play video games, read, draw, write, fiddle with things like jewlery and such, nap, or try makeup. Those are the good ones at least. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ChinaDoll Posted September 1, 2015 Report Share Posted September 1, 2015 Do you ever go out and spend time with your friends? (Not that spending time alone is a bad thing.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AstridTomson98 Posted September 1, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2015 Very rarely... My friends usually aren't ones that I can't hang out with. Sometimes I do if they are free. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ChinaDoll Posted September 1, 2015 Report Share Posted September 1, 2015 I don't understand exactly what kind of pressure is put on you that's enough to drive you to depression. Can you explain that at least? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AstridTomson98 Posted September 1, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2015 It's over a few years... It's hard to explain really. Basically all my disorders all lead up to me feeling depressed. Also I have MDD so it doesn't help much. I guess it's just how people expect so much for me and if I don't achieve it im a failure? I'm not sure... Sorry, not sure how to really answer that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ChinaDoll Posted September 1, 2015 Report Share Posted September 1, 2015 How are you pressured? Grades? Friends? Orgs that you join? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AstridTomson98 Posted September 1, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2015 Yes, yes, what? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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