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Today-looking at what I'm leaving



So here I am.

Running(figuratively)naked down the street. Hanging it all out.

Today I decided to move from where I live. I want some space, some living by myself. I spent the last of my money on sleeping bag, tent, etc., anticipating homelessness. I did register for shelter today, we'll see what happens. Could be an interesting week. Am a 53 year old woman missing front teeth. Am seriously having M.H. issues, and physical ones, too. Broke and about to be homeless. Smart... Oh, yes, I got a cheap phone, shampoo samples and a three dollar summer shirt. The person I live with is super stressed by my illness, and I him, with his blaming me and not believing what I see, and being angry when I question his opinion, or say can we do this not mad. I leave over and over, I trigger, he asks me stay, but am not really able to be in a relationship. Since I've been suicidal, I figure he won't ask me to leave. Has said it would be okay if I have somewhere to go. Yeah. Well, am out of options, so, am flinging myself to the universe, so to speak. Always thought bag ladies were cool, feeding pigeons. I like pigeons. Was a runaway in downtown Portland, alone. Only one night, but only remember part. Maybe I have things to face. I don't know.

And I don't know why I blabbed all this other than I don't want to be thought of as a know it all. And don't want anyone to think I ihink I have your answers. Just want you to know I'm a bit different, too. In spite of everything, am going to live fully the rest of my life, being outside of what I am in, as much as possible. And hopefully not too afraid. M.H. is in line with slavery and alternate life styles for equal rights and protection from stigma. :P Remember when cancer patients were blamed for their illness?

Anyway, enough for today. It's been a very long one and have been up awhile. Early.

loves and hugs



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